Naruto is dating WHO!
by Meinos Kaen
Summary: Collection of one-shots featuring Narutox? Pairings, where ' stands for a girl from another anime/manga/movie, etc... Review and leave your suggestions! No Yaoi!
1. Index

This came to my mind thanks to the crazyness that is TFF and my other story on Demyx. Check out my profile. :P Basically, this will be a collection of one-shots pairing Naruto with another girl from another game/anime/movie, etc…

This will be the index that I will update periodically. The bolded names are the ones that I've already written. The others are the one suggested to me that are to be written. If you want, you can suggest girls too. Provide name and universe.

Meinos Kaen

P.S.: Enjoy!

**Index**

**Ayane (Dead or Alive) **

**Rikku (Final Fantasy X/X-2) **

**Naminé (Kingdom Hearts COM/II) **

**Yoruichi (Bleach) **

**Nico Robin (One Piece) **

**Shego (Kim Possible) **

**Hermione Granger (Harry Potter) **

**Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter) **

**Soi Fong (Bleach) **

**Little Red Riding Hood**

Mandy (Billy&Mandy's Grim Adventures)

**Ginny Weasley (Harry Potter) **

Excel (Excel Saga)

**Hannah Montana (Hannah Montana) **

She-Hulk (Marvel)

**Raven (DC) **

Starfire (DC)

Miss Martian (DC)

Shampoo (Ranma ½)

Lilith (Darkstalkers)

Yuffie (FFVII)


	2. Ayane

**Ayane**

"Argh..."

Naruto had just wanted to sleep in peace. He was just visiting a village. Vacation, you know? And yet... He found himself in troubles. Yet again. This time, the 'hot kunoichi hired to kill you' kind of trouble. The girl was strong. That's for sure. She had landed a couple of heavy Taijutsu hits, and she probably knew Ninjutsu too. And those Kunais she had landed in his arms had hurt like a bitch... Till he removed them and began to to regenerate. Seeing this, the girl had changed tactic. Aiming for parts that could grant him instant death.

With a somersault, dodging all his attacks, she had basically sat herself on his shoulders, crossing her legs in front of his chest. After blocking her hands from slamming two kunais in his skull, he was currently trying his best to keep her from breaking his neck with her tights.

"I didn't think... It would have been this hard..." Even if her face didn't show it, Ayane was actually very fatigated. She was superior in almost everything to her opponent, but his quick reflexes, high stamina and that healing factor were a bitch when you wanted to cripple him to land in a sure-kill hit.

"Ghh... You're pretty flexible... You must be some kind of freak in bed, hn?" Ayane didn't get affected much by his taunt. She had been trained to deal with it. She just kept on applying strenght to the grip she had on his neck... No. He didn't just...

"What... The hell are you doing?"

"Trying to tickle you. I have to get creative, since I'm holding your hands and using just my biceps to keep you from snapping my neck!" The blonde had just... Licked her inner tight. Ayane gritted her teeth, trying to get it over with as soon as possible. She wasn't ticklish at all, but... She bit her lower lip while he kept on doing that.

"S-Stop that!"

"Seems like I got a really good idea, hn?! the hell I'll stop!" He just kept on licking her inner tight. Ayane was almsot drawing blood from her lower lip, trying with all her might to snap the neck of that annoying little blonde bastard... Naruto blinked when he heard a clear moan coming out of her mouth. Ayane realized what she had just done. They both froze. Naruto slowly turned his head so that he could look at her embarassed and flushed face. "... Sensitive spot?"

"..." Ayane stared back at him... And then plainly growled. "Now it's personal!"

"YEOWCH!" Naruto reacted just in time. The girl was about to resume her neck-grip, but he used the brief second to pull her down from his shoulders, throwing her on the ground. But she let go of her kunais and grabbed his hands in return, making him lose his balance and thumble to the ground. Now over him, she got a hold of a kunai.

"How dare you! You damn filthy..."

"Hey! Not my fault if you're so sensitive!" She applied more strenght to the hand trying to stab him. Trying with all her might to ignore how tangled their legs were and how his knee was rubbing her inner tights again along with... She applied more strenght. "Oh, come on!"

"Just die..." Ayane probably had never thought that her pent-up sexual frustration could have been a deterrent. But it was. So much that she had brought the fight on a plan of pure physical strenght. When she clearly knew that at least in that he was superior to her. "Nnngh..."

"Aaaah!" Naruto summoned all his strenght and pushed her on her back, getting a hold of both her hands and making her stab her kunai in the floor of his room. He hled her down with the weight of his body, tangling up his legs with her own so that she couldn't move, his chest on her own, his hands holding her own ones to the ground. "Anf... Got... Enough?"

"..." Ayane was trying to get out of two predicaments. One at the time. She had been paid to kill the man currently on her, but because of her being careless, she had her beaten and unable to move. That was predicament number one... But it wasn't the most pressing. The other one was much more pressing. Just him licking her inner tight had been enough to upset her. Now, his legs were basically rubbing all her sensitive legs, his chest was brushing her own one, and she didn't understand why, but her position... Being submissive... She lost it. She shot her head forward and because of his gasp of surprise managed to sneak her tongue inside her mouth.

Naruto worried about what was happening, but felt a bit reassured when she let go of the kunai and focused on kissing him. She made him stand up and then fall on the bed, still above her...

"..."

"Ehm... You usually enjoy the afterglow or wallow in disgust... You don't usually do both at the same time..."

"... Shut up..." Ayane was frowning. The sex had been fantastic, but she was supposed to kill him. But it was just... Too awkward to jump him to kill him after having jumped him to... Oh, god. She still felt sore. Eight rounds and then she had passed out. Naruto sweatdropped and scratched his right cheek.

"Ehm... Whatever the amount they wanted to pay you, I'll pay double?"

"..." She slowly turned her head to him. He wasn't bluffing, it seemed. "That would be 200.000 Ryo."

"200.000. And a little extra as a 'Sorry'?"

"..." Ayane observed his face some more. Not bluffing. He really had that kind of money. She sighed and leaned her head on his chest. "Acceptable..."

Hayate had been having a fabulous day. No missions, so he could relax doing some light training for a change and then he actually managed to slack off after that. Fantastic. Nothing could disturb him. Nothing… Suddenly, he witnessed Kasumi shunshin right below the tree-branch he was sleeping on.

"Ah, Kasumi. How is it going?" Then, he noticed that Kasumi's face was quite… Bewildered? Shocked? Stupefied? Like someone who had just read for the first time all the books of the Harry Potter series. "What happened?"

"It's… It's about Ayane…" She simply said. That caught Hayate's attention.

"Ayane? Something happened on her mission?" Hayate got immediately worried. It was supposed to be a simple assassination mission of a Chunin from Konohagakure. Maybe their client omitted something about the target?

"She… She…" Kasumi shook her head. Hayate was really getting worried. "A hawk just arrived. She failed her mission, aborted it, sent us double the payment we were supposed to receive from our client and took two weeks of vacation."

Hayate fell from the tree he was resting on with a loud 'Thump'. Vacations? Ayane never took a day of vacation in her whole life!

The first comment that came from the first person familiar with Naruto that saw the two walk into Konoha apart the two gateguards, alas Kiba, was…

"Naruto, who's the shortie?" Kiba got a prognosis of two days and the next person who met Ayane were the ANBU. And Naruto made a mental note of never, ever, mentioning Ayane's height. She was pretty touchy about that, it seemed. Then, he had to introduce her to his Hokage-baachan.

"Baa-chan, this is Ayane-chan. Ayane-chan, this is Tsunade-baachan. And that is Sakura-chan, and that is Shizune-neechan." Naruto dodged the chair. Ayane did too, but she managed to keep it a bow.

"It's a pleasure."

"As much as I'd like to kill Naruto for using that nickname yet again, I'm curious about who you are and how come Naruto brought you back… And why you're clinging to his left arm." Naruto blushed while Ayane remained immobile and didn't even twitch. Now, Naruto had a difficult task. How to not say that they met when she tried to kill him but ended up having sex with him instead. He knew that at least one of the females in the room would want his life if he said that. He didn't know about Ayane, though.

"Well, you see…"

"We met during the city festival." Naruto stopped when he noticed that Ayane had took initiative. "We talked a lot, had fun and… Well…" Naruto blinked when Ayane blushed and turned her head to the side in embarrassment. He knew it was fake, but it was so cute that he would have fooled him otherwise. "We… Shot a couple of fireworks too…" He almost sweatdropped at that sentence… Almost, because Sakura punched him into the ground right after Ayane finished his sentence.

"N-NARUTO! YOU BAKA! WHAT THE HELL?!"

"… Is he your boyfriend?" Sakura blinked at the sudden question from Ayane. She was about to reply… "He is not. Then, I don't see why you get so angry. He has every right as every other boy his age to go hit on girls and have sex with them."

"B-B-B-But that's…!"

"Perfectly normal. She's right, you know, Sakura." Sakura could feel the world crumbling on her at Tsunade's words. Her sensei was admonishing her with her stare. "You should keep a lid on that temper of yours. And try to not get physical every time Naruto does something, be it good or bad."

In the meanwhile, Ayane was helping Naruto back on his feet. The blonde boy was massaging his head.

"Why didn't you dodge?" Naruto blinked. He raised his head to meet Ayane's gaze. "Judging from the speed, reflexes and…" This time Ayane's blush was genuine. "Knowledge of human anatomy you showed to me you could have easily dodged that blow and then counterattacked and broke at least 3 of her bones in 13 different ways." Naruto sweatdropped. Then, he realized that he didn't know what to reply… At least, not without enraging his new girlfriend… "I see. A former crush." She suddenly raised him up from the ground and kissed him on the lips. "Then, I suppose I will have to show you how much of a better choice I am."

"… I already know…" Naruto was about to enter a romantic moment of his. Those kind of moments where fans from all over the world squealed at his words, when an ANBU appeared in the room.

"Hokage-sama, a Rogue ninja that goes from the name of Hayate along with some of his associates requires your assistance to track down a 'violet-haired short sexy teen who's probably gone crazy or reacted to her hormones and finally got laid. In that case, I shall kill the bastard'… Oh." The gaze of everyone in the room shifted to Naruto and Ayane.

"… My clan."

"… Well, shit."


	3. Naminé

**Naminé**

"Nice place! So peaceful! And no Heartless around, at least for now!"

Naminé chuckled at his bodyguard's behaviour. He was older than her by a few years, and yet he was the one acting more childish. Demyx had never been normal, for a Nobody. Not that she was 'normal'… By Nobody standards, that was. So much that she actually managed to get bored of staying in the same place for a long time. And so, the Superior decided that it would be a good idea to make her take a vacation in a foreign world. Guarded by one of them, of course. And they chose Demyx because guarding someone who had no intention of fleeing was such an easy mission that even their Number IX could do it.

It was really a nice place, indeed. Their cover for their stay in that… Ninja village was that Demyx was a travelling musician. And she was his little sister. Thinking about it, she wouldn't have minded really having a big brother like him. They were having a little tour of the green places in the village, her sketchpad still firm in her arms when… She stopped walking when she noticed something that caught her attention. Demyx noticed this.

"What's up, Naminé? Why did you stop?"

"… Can we stop here for a while? I found something that I'd like to draw…"

Naruto had done just a light training, but nonetheless, he decided to take a nap in the shade of the tree in the training area. Because he liked it. And he always felt so refreshed after a couple of hours of sleeping like that. That day, though, the awakening was different. He awoke to the sound of scribbling… No, drawing? He didn't know. And music. He could feel someone playing an instrument and someone using a pencil. He slowly opened his eyes and he found himself observing a petite girl around his age drawing on a sketchpad a couple of meters from his position, sitting on the grass, and a little more farther away a guy playing… A guitar? Something like that… And was that water that he saw moving around him? But he returned his attention to the girl.

"Ehm… Hi?" He said, uneasily. The girl smiled at him, not stopping her hand.

"Hi." She said, and returned her attention to the sketchpad. Naruto scratched his right cheek.

"And… What are you doing?"

"Drawing you. Done." Naminé turned her sketchpad around and walked to Naruto on all fours, showing him her drawing. Naruto wasn't an expert or anything, but he could tell that she had talent. "You looked so peaceful and cute sleeping in the shade of the tree… I just couldn't resist taking a sketch."

Naruto didn't know if he was blushing for the little compliment or because the girl had the prettiest smile he had ever seen on a female face. Then, the girl suddenly put away the sketchpad and offered him her right hand. It was so petite and white, and it looked so delicate that Naruto almost feared to hold it. But he did it nonetheless. Carefully.

"Uh?" _Why is it so cold?_

"My name is Naminé." She said. Naruto blinked and forgot about the hand's detail.

"I'm Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto."

"And I'm Demyx! You like music?!" Naruto jumped when the guy suddenly appeared behind him and played a very high note right in his left ear.

After their first meeting, Naruto had taken upon himself the task of being the two Nobodies' guide around Konoha. That made their stay even more enjoyable. Naminé found the ninja a good friend and he liked her drawings a lot. And to say that he and Demyx got along was like saying that Haku's appearance was slightly ambiguous. So much that he had become her favourite subject for her drawings. Her sketchpad was full of Naruto.

"Didn't you say that people usually didn't like his music?"

"I suppose that… Our old friends had no taste." Naminé couldn't find any other explanation to Demyx's actual state of celebrity among Konoha's teens and women in general. The other organization members menaced him of death every time he made his sitar appear. In Konoha, to put it in simple words, the man was a god of rock. And that was the fifth stage-dive, for that evening. This time while still playing a sitar solo. Naminé nodded. "Yep. Definitely no taste."

"No taste in girls either, I suppose. Twelve guys and two girls… And no one even ever made a move on you?" Naminé chuckled at the compliment/joke.

"Most people think they are all gay and make Yaoi orgies in their free-time… They haven't seen what they hide under their beds, I suppose." Naruto laughed at that. Then Naminé cocked her head to the side. "What about you? It's because girls have no taste or you're gay?" The ninja groaned.

"Not funny, Naminé." Naruto already had enough bad mental images from the Yaoi books he had found in Sakura's room. That was when his crush had definitely disappeared. "I guess girls have no taste. I'm as gay as Ero-sannin." Naminé chuckled again. From what he had told her about his mentor, he was definitely straight.

"That would have been a shame… Uh?" Naminé blinked before Naruto did. He didn't get that.

"What did you say?"

"N-Nothing." Naruto just shrugged it off. And Naminé just couldn't help but ask herself… _Where did that come from?_

"Wow… You were… You were right…"

"I never lie. Told ya this was a great sight!" Indeed it was. Especially at sunset, the sight from the top of the Sandaime's head was great. Naminé observed in awe the sight in front of her. Naruto just grinned, seating beside her. "I bet you could make a great drawing out of it."

"Yes, I could… But…" Naruto blinked. Naminé turned to him, smiling. "I couldn't put you into it…"

"…" Naruto scratched the back of his head, smiling. "You like drawing me that much?"

"… Yes…" Naminé had been confused about her recent behaviour. She just couldn't explain what was happening to her. Or why she was so… Attracted to Naruto. Even now, she couldn't think… Suddenly, she felt a hand softly lean on her right cheek and stroke it. Instinctively, she turned towards him, his hand never leaving her cheek. What she saw in his eyes… Made her even more attracted… Literally. She found herself leaning towards him, closing her eyes… When their lips met, she felt a jolt go trough her body, making her shiver but deepen the kiss. Instinctively, she brought her hands to his hair… When suddenly, an humongous pain in her chest made her scream out in pain.

"Repeat that again." The doctor was getting irritated. And Naruto confused. Demyx had asked the doctor to repeat the same sentence more than twelve times already.

"I said… She is completely fine. The pain in her chest was due to a strain of her heart's muscles. Like it hadn't been beating in a long time. But I don't see how that is possible."

"… Thanks." The doctor got out of there in a hurry, before he could change his mind. The sitarist turned to Naruto… And hugged him.

"Buddy, you're the man." Said that, he ran out of there. And Naruto could swear he heard him screaming 'I WANT TO FALL IN LOVE!'. He guessed that the only thing he could do in that moment was go and see Naminé. The girl was sitting in her bed, completely fine, but observing the air in front of her with a contemplative look on her face. When she heard him walk into the room, though her head shot up.

"Hey, are you fine?"

"… Yes. I… I just…" Suddenly he heard her sniff. He panicked and hurried to her side. He didn't expect her to suddenly throw her arms around him and hug him tightly while sobbing on his shoulders. He slowly hugged her back. "… Kiss me…"

"Eh?"

"I want you to kiss me… Like before… To love me, to make me feel happy and weird…" She broke the embrace to raised her head and look at him trough a tears-streaked face. "I want to keep on drawing you forever, I want to make love to you, I want to stay with you and laugh at Demyx when he falls on the ground when he gets a stage-dive wrong! I… I…!"

"…" Naruto didn't say anything. He just put a finger to her lips. She slowly calmed down and leaned him for the kiss she was longing for. She felt so happy… That she could feel. That was all.

"Repeat that again."

"Saix went to pick up Number IX and Naminé. He got his ass kicked by Number IX and transported back here by him, in his underwear. Number IX had used his cloak to write this message on it. 'Just leave us alone and go fall in love, if you want your hearts back'."

"… What the?"

In the meanwhile, Cloud Strife was in a big predicament.

"You want to ravish me… Why?" He asked, eyeing the red haired girl who had just tackled him to the ground with tears in her eyes and a flush on his face.

"Because I suddenly feel emotional and horny around blonde spiky haired guys with blue eyes." Was Kairi's simple reply.

"…" If Kairi suddenly tackling Cloud to the ground had shocked the others… "Come to my room tonight."

"CLOUD?!" Cloud's player side suddenly emerging was downright destroying. He was just human, after all.


	4. Nico Robin, Shego

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**Nico Robin**

"Hmmm… This is pretty unusual…"

"Deeeeeeeeear Robin! I brought you something to drink!"

"Oh, thanks." Robin gave Sanji a smile and took the offered drink. Uncovering ancient ruins was a pretty tiring job. Especially when they were big ruins like that one. They had stopped on that tiny island for stocking on water and food. It was a surprise to find such an interesting ruin. It was a single building built in an oval shape… Well, more than built, it looked like it had been carved out of one single block of rock. The only piece that looked like it had been added was the door. It was of a different material as well. But incredibly, the carvings on it were symmetrical with the carvings on the rest of the structure. It was a complex array of spiral-like patterns, with a bigger one in the middle of the door with a single symbol at the center. "… Incredible…"

"What's so incredible, Robin?" Nami had gotten curious. It was rare for Robin to be so interested in something to the point of saying something like 'Incredible' and not moving from the spot for hours. Cue her walking to the spot of the fabled ruin and giving Chopper a piggy-back there as well.

"This is probably the oldest ruin I've ever seen, Nami." Robin was going trough one of her books, looking for confirmation… And she found it. She tapped the page a couple of times, signalling to Nami to look at it as well. "This ruin has been built more than 1500 years ago, during the age known as 'Shinobi era'. We know of that era little more than what we know of the 100 years…"

"Little more than zero? Wow." Nami kneeled in front of the door. Chopper noticed the strange symbol in the middle of the door.

"Robin, what does that symbol mean?" Then he lowered his gaze and noticed another long series of similar symbols on the lower part of the door. "And those ones?"

"They're in the language of that time. Fortunately, it's quite similar to the one we use nowadays. So, we managed to translate most of the words in it." Robin took out another book to help her with translation. "Hmm… The symbol in the middle means 'demon'."

"D-DEMON?!" Predictably, Nami and Chopper jumped at the sound of the word. The archaeologist just nodded.

"And the sentence… It looks like a warning." Robin proceeded to translate the long sentence. "'Here we seal the demon of the leaf. We excuse ourselves for not being able to apply a more definitive solution to the problem. We put here a warning to the future generations. Don't free the demon.'"

"Wooooooooow! A demon?! Can you eat it?!" Luffy had appeared out of nowhere holding an enormous chunk of meat. And Usop was trying to hold him.

"LUFFY! NO! IT'S PROBABLY DANGEROUS! RIGHT, ROBIN?!"

"It could… From what I can deduce from the warning, whatever or whoever was sealed here was something so strong and dangerous that they couldn't kill it, but just confine it here." She closed the book and turned to her companions. "And from the warning… I can definitely affirm that whatever is in there is still alive."

"… Someone strong, hn?"

"ZORO! PUT AWAY THAT SWORD! NO BREAKING THE SEAL! BAD SWORDSMAN! BAD SWORDSMAN!"

"Too late for that. I broke the seal from the inside like, 100 years ago." Much to the scare of three members of the crew and the surprise of the others a new person had appeared in the clearing near the ruin. He had long, very long… Waist long blonde spiky hair tied in a messy ponytail, and blue eyes. His only piece of clothing were a pair of very rugged orange pants and a pair of irons on his wrists. Showing off a fair bit of skin and muscles. "I can't believe it took me 600 years to figure out that the sealing was less effective on the ground and that I could dig my way out if I didn't use chakra… Ah, by the way, are these two friends of yours?" Much to the rest of the crew's surprise, the blonde was carrying by the arms Brooke and Franky. "They attacked me when they saw me trying to board your ship. I guess they thought I was a bad guy." He let the two battered guys fall to the ground while his stomach emitted an enormous rumble. "Ehm… Do you guys have any ramen, by chance? I haven't had any in more than 700 years…"

If being sealed for 1400 years and being alone on a little deserted island for 100 years didn't make the blonde guy any sad, discovering that no one in the world had any idea what ramen was broke him. He had cried for one hour and sobbed for another one in the shade of a tree. After that they were convinced that he wasn't dangerous at all. At least Luffy, since he immediately offered him to join the crew. Naruto replied 'I don't know what that means, but as long as I get out of this island, count me in'. Cue him getting a warm bath, a cut of hair and a change of clothes. And then Sanji began to fear for their food's supply. The blonde ate as much as Luffy. Sometimes he thought that his cooking was just too good.

"What I don't understand is why they sealed you in there. You're strong, but you don't look dangerous at all. As in, demon-like." Naruto swallowed the steak he was munching before answering.

"Well, long story. Short version: I had the most powerful demon of the world sealed in my body and a year before my sealing I absorbed with him, cue me getting all his powers. Some paranoid idiots decided I was too dangerous and to seal me up. They hated me for my whole life, but that was the breaking point, I guess."

"They hated you?" The story suddenly caught Robin's attention, making her voice her thoughts. Naruto nodded.

"Yep. Just for existing. Hard to believe, hn?"

"… Not really." Naruto blinked at the black-haired girl's comment. But he shrugged it off right after in favour of assaulting another steak before Luffy could steal it.

"So, this was how your world was shaped?"

"Yes. At least the continent I was on. It really looks different now, though." Naruto scratched the back of his head while observing the chart of the world Nami had provided him while Robin observed the map he had draw of the elemental countries at the best that his memory provided. Ever since they had found him on the island, Robin had been the one he interacted the most with. The woman kept on asking him many questions about himself, the world he lived in… Nami joked about it saying that he was the rarest archaeological finding she had ever come across. Some kind of living Poigne Griff. And even if he didn't know what a Poigne Griff was, he understood the general sense of the metaphor. "Sorry I can't provide you with a more accurate one."

"Don't worry about that." Robin had took out another map out of a drawer, and looking at it from time to time was applying some corrections to Naruto's drawn one. "Using a map of the sea depths I can more or less see what piece of land you've drawn and apply the opportune corrections."

"… You got a fine brain in there, Robin." Naruto silently 'Wowed'. Robin was probably the smartest person he had ever met. Even more than Sakura-chan. And on top of that, she was actually nice to him. "So… How come you became an archaeologist?"

"Well…" Robin stopped scribbling for a moment, thinking about how to answer to the blonde… She guessed that she could be somewhat sincere. "Because I wanted to be with my mother, actually."

"She was an archaeologist too?" Robin nodded… Then stopped scribbling again when she noticed had used the past version of the verb 'be'. She turned to him.

"How do you know she's dead?"

"Because your eyes showed a hint of sadness for a second when you mentioned her." Robin blinked. A second? And he managed to catch it? He just shrugged. "I'm like that. Very observant, you know."

"… And yet you had to draw this map ten times to get it decent." She found herself joking and he pouted.

"Hey! I'm observant! I don't have a photographic memory!"

"You idiot! Why did you do that?!"

"I just wanted to bring you something nice. And I brought you a still intact archive! Told ya Konoha's sealing techniques were the best in the world!" When Naruto noticed that the Sunny was cruising over the sunken Konohagakure, a few thousand meters below, he had proposed that they did a little 'Savage'. Luffy was eager for it, remembering when they met a couple of monkeys. And then he surprised everyone when he threw himself without a protection or an air supply off the ship. When Sanji, Luffy and Zoro reached him he was already going back up with a enormous scroll on his back and a monster in his right hand that the cook was currently roasting. "In that scroll there were a lot of documents and maps. I guess whatever sunk the whole world or something like that, they saw it coming."

"That's not the point! There aren't a lot of humans who can breathe underwater or kill sea-kings bare handed!" Robin sighed in exasperation and then gave the blonde another glare. "We were worried."

"Oh, come on. I'm perfectly fine. I'm only resting because Chopper was throwing a tantrum." He did forgot to mention that he had developed a breathing technique in the centuries he had been sealed, but they were overreacting. Naruto rolled his eyes and huffed, then decided to tease Robin a little. "I guess you could have lost your precious living Poigne Griff…"

"Idiot! It's not like that!" Naruto chuckled when he saw her get even more angry. He put on a smug look on his face.

"And how is it then? Hn?"

"… Just get some rest, idiot." She huffed and stormed out of the room. Naruto smirked. He loved to tease Robin since she didn't leave herself open for that very often.

"Already done? I guess 1500 years of inactivity can make a guy rusty…" Robin almost tripped on her own feet. Nami smirked. She loved to tease Robin since she didn't leave herself open for that very often. The older girl turned to Nami with a flushed face.

"J-Just what do you think we were going to do in the infirmary?!" Nami chuckled and approached her with the look she usually used when talking business. That grin that would make a Cheshire cat jealous.

"Nothing much… Just a couple of rounds." Robin just pushed her away, huffing.

"You have a wild imagination, navigator…"

"And you like your precious archaeological finding as more than a friend or a piece of furniture." Robin blushed even more. "Oh, come on. I've never seen you acting normal like this around anyone. And I've never seen you blush either, Robin."

"…" Robin turned to her with a glare. "Don't mention it anymore."

"Or?" Nami whistled.

"Or I'm going to tell the crew the new uses you found for the captain's lengthening powers… And the Third Gear." Nami paled. "I have eyes and ears everywhere, Nami. Literally."

"What was all that about? He burned my clothes too."

"Ehm, nothing…" Robin blushed. Sanji just had to be behind the corner when she asked Naruto to help her with shopping, that day. The cook immediately put two and two four together and challenged Naruto to a duel, only to get his ass kicked by the blonde who just had to heal a few bones and change his clothes. "So… How did you like the food?"

"It was good! Not as good as Sanji's cooking, but there are a couple of dishes that he should learn to cook…" After a day of shopping, Robin had proposed for a dinner in a restaurant that she knew on that island. And now they were walking on the beach. And Naruto decided that a little tease was in order. "Hmmm… Shopping, a candle-light dinner, a walk on the beach… It almost look like a date to me, you know?"

"Idiot…" She wanted to add 'It is a date', but she decided against it. Then, she pulled something out of her pocket. A piece of paper. "Here you go. Happy birthday."

"Uh?" Naruto blinked. First because he hadn't checked a calendar in centuries. Second because he didn't know what the piece of paper could possibly… … His brain froze when he realized what he was holding.

"Among the archive you retrieved a couple of months ago I found this. It's a certain Ichiraku's secret recipe for Ramen. I suppose that you could try to ask Sanji to co… !!" Robin expected a lot of things in reaction, but that wasn't one of them. The boy had in the arc of a second put away the piece of paper safely in the back pocket of his trousers and then proceeded to french the hell out of her. She felt herself melt like the candle that was burning earlier on their table. When he broke the kiss, she couldn't do anything but stare in his eyes. He stared back and then said two words.

"Marry me."

She blushed. She had planned to go slowly, maybe just getting laid for that evening, not that she didn't get laid, they did it till it was dawn, but… Oh, hell. "Where is the ring?"

**Shego**

"Jesus, I hate this mission…"

Indeed he did. Between laboratories, classes, fangirls and yaoifangirls, Naruto had come to hate the hell that was called high school and Tsunade's guts for assigning him a mission that required him to attend it. The mission required him to keep an eye on certain subjects that had caught the elemental countries' attention because of a lot of strange things had been happening when that girl was around. But till now the most exciting thing that had happened was him making the Chemistry lab explode.

That led him to do something that he had never done before. Drink. It was that or punch the hell out of the first goon he laid his eyes on. He was still undercover. He was Nathan, for the duration of the mission. So, drinking.

"One more." The barman complied. He didn't care much about underage people drinking as long as they had at least 16 years old, but what really caught his attention was that the blonde was gulping down litres of alcohol and he wasn't even jolly. It was like he was drinking water. The only effect it had on him was making him take a bathroom break after the seventh vodka.

"Hard nut to crack, hn?" Naruto turned around and saw a familiar face. He didn't know where he saw the girl, but he knew he had seen her before. "I come here often, but you're the first person I see that manages to drink that much and don't get wasted. Now that I think about it, it's the first time I see you here as well…"

"Sheila. The usual?"

"It's been one of those days. Make it double." Naruto was starting to remember. He had definitely seen her somewhere, before. After all, girls with pale green skin and that kind of long hair were rare. He shrugged it off. He would get it anyway. "Are you even old enough to drink?" She asked. Naruto shrugged it off.

"And you are?" He replied. The girl chuckled.

"Nice try. I'm 19."

"18… Whoops." The girl took her drink and took a sip while looking at the boy who, judging from his expression, had just let slip something that he shouldn't have let slip.

"Aren't you a bit old to be an High Schooler, then?" Naruto cursed his T-shirt. He kept his cool, though, and drank another shot of vodka. "I take it that's the reason you're here drinking?" Naruto raised an eyebrow at that. "I don't know why, but there's something to this place that drags here just who drinks to not think about how much their lives suck."

"Yeah. Forced to go to High School isn't the best undercover mission you can get." Sheila raised an eyebrow at that. Naruto shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not that good of a liar once I give away something important like the age I'm supposed to be hiding. You would have gotten to it eventually. Can't say who or what, though." The girl smirked maliciously.

"Quite the subtle charmer, hn?" She handed the glass back to the barman waiting for a refill and crossed one leg on the other, and smacked one hand on it. The long black dress she was wearing showed a fair amount of flesh. "But you're not getting any of this, kid."

"Curious. I was about to say the same thing." Naruto acted smug and managed to subdue his blush. The girl just smiled maliciously again. He turned to her. "What about you? Why are you here drinking?" Sheila just frowned.

"What I told you before. My life sucks." And gulped down another drink in one move. Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Mind being more specific?" The girl frowned even more.

"Mostly work. I have a well paid job, but it makes me subject to a lot of humiliations. My boss is a delusional freaking psychopath. Good thing I can whip him around." She gulped down another drink and let out a 'Paaaaah!' and immediately after, a growl. "But what makes me really angry and sometimes even suicidal is the thought that I, an ex-super-heroine with superpowers and a training that would make secret agents cower in shame, keep on losing to a freaking 16 years old CHEER-LEADER, a hairless mole and her idiotic boyfriend that looks like the love-child of Dumbo and Ronald MacDonald, just with freckles. And of course, it's been ages ever since I got laid."

Naruto mentally snapped his fingers. Now he remembered where he had seen her. A couple of days ago, while he followed said cheerleader around the world in her world-saving missions. He hadn't recognized her without spandex. And he had to agree with her. No matter how you put it, it just didn't make sense. He sighed.

"Barman, bring out the strongest shit you have. For two. On me." Sheila turned her head around.

"Trying to get me drunk to get in my panties, kid?"

"First, I doubt you wear panties. I'd go for a thong, if I had to take a guess." The girl frowned. She hated when people figured her out. "Second, your life sucks more than mine. Just trying to be gentle. Third, it's not like you're not getting drunk before closing time on your own."

"…" She stared at him for a few seconds and then slammed her glass on the table. "Bring out that shit he asked for."

"Oooooooooow… Hangoveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer…" The headache was always the most pressing thing whenever you woke up after getting really, really drunk. She blinked around and noticed she wasn't in her bed. She checked and noticed that she still had all her clothes on, shoes apart. And she noticed that the kid had brought her a glass with some kind of green liquid in it.

"For the headache." He simply said, and sat down in a chair in front of… His bed, she guessed from the furniture.

"Thanks…" She muttered and gulped down the glass of liquid slowly. Surprisingly effective. "Much better."

"Family recipe… Kind of." Ero-sannin got some bad hang-overs from time to time. Tsunade had taught him how to prepare that thing. Sheila handed him back the glass.

"What happened after the third glass of that thing? The room doesn't reek of sex, but I suppose you had a car…" Naruto shook his head and stretched.

"Didn't know where you lived so I just brought you home. Couldn't leave you there drooling on the stool. It's 10 AM, by the way." She groaned, stretching and yawning loudly.

"Don't you have high school?"

"Saturday."

"Ah. Right." She massaged her temples for a few seconds before plopping down from the bed and putting her shoes on. "I have to go. Take a shower, eat something, things like that…"

"Alright… By the way, what's your real name?"

"…" She stared at him for a few seconds before focusing back on her shoes. "Shego."

"Weirdass name. Naruto."

"Asshole."

"Bitch."

"Fuck you."

"You too. But not today."

"Hmmm…" Her neck was a sensitive place. He had learned that much, in their couple of sessions. And he didn't know why, but he loved doing it in a car. Even if it was just the second time he did it in one. He went from her neck to her mouth for a while and then back down, to her neck again and then to her cleavage. "I still have to understand how you put a D-Cup inside that incredibly tight thing…"

"Just shut up. It's out, right no… Ah!" Another sensitive spot. Magical fingers. She growled. "Don't do that… Scratch that. Do that again. Ahh!"

"It's just your…"

"Don't name it! Just, he says… Work on it… God…"

"Coming, coming…" Naruto went to open the door to find himself face to face with his 'target'.

"Hello, Nathan. Since you didn't come to school the teacher asked me to go and tell you about the new assignment."

"Ah, right. It was today…" He scratched the back of his head. "Well, wanna come in?"

"Thanks." Naruto stepped to the right and let Kim come in. The girl had stopped walking and moving after the first few steps. She had probably noticed the familiar girl on his couch. Shego in casual clothes wasn't something she had ever seen. "What… The hell are you doing here?"

"What does it look like? Slacking off at my boyfriend's place?"

"Do you two know each other, Sheila? Kim?" Officially, they didn't know shit about each other apart their ages, names and that they both loved doing it doggy style.

"Yeah… We're… Old acquaintances." Kim was trying to think how to tell Ron without making him faint that he had seen Shego at the blonde's home with just a top, panties and socks on. Strange thing, life…


	5. Yoruichi, Hermione

**Yoruichi**

"Meow!"

"And just who are you?" Naruto didn't remember ever seeing around black cats like that one. His neighbours usually didn't have pets because they feared the 'little demon could command them to bite their necks in their sleep'. But he hadn't had neighbours in a while… He moved his head to the right. There were packs in front of the apartment to his right. He turned to the cat again. "So, you're the new neighbour's cat…"

"Meow!" The black cat rubbed itself against Naruto's legs, while he chuckled.

"I've heard about neighbours introducing themselves, but the cat's neighbour…" He opened the door to his apartment. "Well, want to come in? I have some milk."

"Coming! Damn. Worst timing of the year to whoever is at the door." A knock on the door while taking a shower was something that happened at least once to everyone, they said. And they were right. It was damn frustrating. He put on his pants and his jacket, forgetting to close it, though. He opened the door… And blinked. That was because he had never seen anyone with such a dark shade of skin, and… Were her hair violet? And her eyes… Yellow?

"Mhhh…"

"Ehm… You're the new neighbour?" The strange woman was observing him. She had leaned in and scanned his face. Then she started moving down her face, taking in the rest of his body. And it was making Naruto very embarrassed. "Ehm… I think I met your cat…"

"Indeed." She had given him a reply, but she hadn't broken eye-contact with his body. And Naruto blushed when she observed his boxers for a while longer than the maximal safe time.

"W-WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" The thing had broken Naruto's paralysis. He had grabbed her shoulders and forcefully made her stand back on her feet.

"Just checking you out." Naruto blushed even more. 'Just'? Then, she offered him her right hand to shake. "I'm Shihouin Yoruichi. Nice to meet you."

"Ah… Ehm, yes." Naruto regained some composure. Enough to shake her hand back.

"Ah. By the way, you should drop orange. It looks terrible on you." Twitch.

"WHAT?!" Things snowballed from there.

--

"That damn woman… Who does she think she is?!"

"Meow." The cat just drank his milk. In a way that Naruto would call almost 'classy'. Like when you raise your pinky while drinking. But the teen didn't care about it much. He was too focused on mentally cursing Yoruichi.

"'You should drop orange!' 'Try darker colours!' 'It looks better on me.' ARGH! I CAN'T STAND HER! I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN STAND HER!" He turned to the cat just to find out it wasn't drinking the milk anymore.

"Meow?" He could literally feel the interrogative tone even if his interlocutor was meowing. It was because he had opened his cabinet and found that he had replaced most of his wardrobe. Mostly black clothes.

"I-I JUST WANTED AN IMAGE CHANGE! I DIDN'T LISTEN TO HER OR ANYTHING!"

--

"Anf… Pant…"

"Are you going to do anything? I'm falling asleep, here…" And she empathized the sentence by yawning loudly. This gave Naruto some power to get back up while trying to forget the pain of his broken-but-already-healing nose. Other than pissing him off further.

"AAAAAAAAAARGH!" Yoruichi rolled her eyes, moved to the side, made him trip and took a hold of his right arm, twisting it.

"Are you that much of an idiot? You should have realized by now that charging blindly in isn't good for anything…"

"S-SHUT UP!"

"Hmmm… Didn't they teach you to respect people trying to give you help?"

"AAARGH! MY ARM! MY ARM IS BREAKING!"

--

"That stupid, idiotic, bastard, ugly, fugly…"

The wounds had already healed, but getting the dirt out of his clothes had been difficult. And the mud in his hair just didn't want to go away. He was so focused on scrubbing them that he didn't give much thought to the fact that a cat was bathing with him. Weren't cats supposed to hate water? Especially hot water?

"First the clothes, now my fighting skills! It's like she suddenly decided to make my life a living hell! Oh, but I'll get her for this too! Ouch!" He almost accidentally ripped out a lock of his hair along with a particularly persistent piece of solidified mud.

"Meow?"

"… Yeah. I spent the rest of the day working on my stealth! SO WHAT?!"

--

"… I can't believe this…"

"I don't think I would have ever seen the day someone out-ate Naruto." Indeed he had been. Naruto's stomach was full. He was on the ground unable to move and foaming at the mouth, both for the amount of food he had eaten and for the thought of how much he would have to pay for the ramen he and Yoruichi had eaten. And in the meanwhile, the dark-skinned woman just kept on eating ramen, only at a much slower pace, now.

"Mhhh! You were right, Naruto! This is really the best ramen in the world!"

"Gaaaak…"

To say that in the month Yoruichi had become Naruto's new neighbour the blonde's life had slightly changed was an euphemism.

--

"My poor stomach…" Naruto was shoving digestive directly in his throat. His stomach was full, his gama-chan was empty and his temper was rising. So much that his body turned slim again in a second, his metabolism suddenly going in high gear. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

In the meanwhile, the cat observed his tantrum and his grabbing his own hair with a curious stare. Naruto was currently kicking everything in sight. He even hurt his foot when he forgot that fridges were particularly heavy and stable.

"ARGH! SHE'S THE MOST IRRITATING PERSON I'VE EVER SEEN!" He suddenly screamed while seating in front of the cat, and started counting Yoruichi's flaws, in his opinion. "SHE THINKS SHE CAN PATRONIZE ME JUST BECAUSE SHE'S LIKE 100 TIMES STRONGER THAN ME! SHE THINKS SHE CAN GIVE ME FASHION ADVICES JUST BECAUSE SHE IS HOT AND HAS A GOOD SENSE OF FASHION! SHE THINKS SHE CAN HUMILIATE ME AT ICHIRAKU JUST BECAUSE SHE'S A BIGGER EATER THAN ME AND LOVES RAMEN JUST AS MUCH! SHE! SHE! …" Naruto looked ready to explode… And he suddenly slumped down and hit the floor with his forehead. "I want to ask her out so bad that it's killing me…"

"Meow!"

--

"W-What makes you think I want to… Do that kind of stuff with you?"

Naruto was currently going trough the hard predicament of swallowing his pride in favour of his hormones and the open-in-a-couple-of-convenient-places-kimono-clad black skinned goddess in front of her who was currently pinning him to his own couch.

"Hmmm… You asked me out…"

"I… Just wanted some company for the festival…" His kimono was becoming incredibly tight. Good thing she was there to open it.

"You didn't shout as much as you usually do. A couple of times I even saw you laugh." She leaned her lips on his chest sending shivers trough his body.

"I… Was distracted…"

"And the reason you were distracted was how much you love my eyes at night and how I have combed my hair for this evening." Her tongue licked him in a straight line from his navel to his neck, making him shiver even more. Did she borrow her cat's tongue? She suddenly took a hold of his head. "Just surrender and don't complain, for once…"

"I…" He didn't get to say more when her tongue and lips cut out his air supply. He slowly surrendered, like she said, and circled her waist with his arms and started straddling it trough her kimono while kissing her back. During the kiss, he blinked. _She's purring?_

--

"Mmmmm… A 6 hours trek of sex and a good sleep! What more can you ask for?"

"Knowing why you act like a cat and can transform in a cat? I swear, I got really freaked out when you grew the ears and tail in the middle of the thing…"

"Meow!" Yoruichi just winked at him and mimicked a paw with her right hand before jumping him. "The pussy wants a little morning treat!"

"Oh, well. Comes with having a catgirl, I suppose…"

**Hermione Granger**

"A bodyguard? I don't need a bodyguard…"

"Dumbledore thinks otherwise. What we saw at the World Cup was… Enlightening, we could say. You need someone stronger and more experienced than you to protect yourself." Harry didn't like the sound of that at all. Of course he knew that he was in danger. But he didn't like the idea of having a babysitter around.

"Mr Weasley, with all due respect, this idea is… I mean, my life will be a living hell if I go to school with someone observing my every move! I can already hear Slytherin's new slogans… 'Vote for mansex! The boy who lived already did it!'" Ron outright laughed at Harry's joke, but Hermione admonished him with a glare. This was serious. The head of the Weasley family sighed.

"Well, that will not be a worry. Your bodyguard will watch you from a safe distance."

"Yes, but I think that anyone would notice an Auror or something like that, as in a grown up watching me from across the hall."

"That will not be the case. Your bodyguard will be under a cover." That made Hermione blink. Maybe the new teacher of defence against the dark arts?

"As a teacher?" She asked. Mr Weasley shook his head.

"No. As a student." That made the three boys blink. All at the same time.

"You mean… My bodyguard would be a mage my own age?" Mr Weasley shook his head.

"No. And to tell you the truth, the definition bodyguard isn't really fitting. He will be more like a fighting support for you. There have been other cases of people like him acting as a mage's partner, acting…"

"Holditholditholdit!" Mr Weasley stopped, because Harry had suddenly interrupted him and because he wasn't familiar with the expression 'Hold it'. "You mean that my bodyguard is a boy my own age and that he isn't a mage?" Mr Weasley nodded. Harry made a face that translated into internet slang would be translated as 'WTF?!'. "Then, what kind of bodyguard is he?!"

"Can you fight without a wand, move so fast that you only see a blur and… Let's say dodge projectile weapons in mid-air?"

"Eh?"

"Can you?" Harry shook his head from side to side. Of course he couldn't. Hermione voiced the thoughts of the trio.

"And this person can?"

"Yes. He can."

"He can?"

"I can."

"You can? … Wait a minute. When the hell…" Ron turned to the door and saw a boy, dressed in a Hogwarts' male uniform, without a house's colours, though. But he added some colour of his own. The blonde of his hair and the blue of his eyes.

"Around 'What kind of bodyguard is he?'. U…" He stopped before saying anything more. "Ah. Right. The name first. Naruto Uzumaki."

"… It's physically impossible for a human to move that fast." Naruto blinked. He expected them to react in many ways, but questioning his abilities wasn't one of those. He smirked. A know-it-all type. Teasing time.

"That's what all the girls say. They change their minds after a night, though." The young ones opened their mouths in surprise. Ron and Harry then burst out laughing and Hermione blushed even redder than Ron's hair.

"Y-Y-YOU'RE A PERVERT!"

"And proud of being one. Now, who's the 'boy with the liver'?"

"The 'boy who lived'… And that would be me."

--

"Well well well, is this seat vacant?"

"There are no invisible ghosts. So, I suppose it is." Hermione frowned. She couldn't believe her bad luck. Not only Harry's perverted bodyguard had gotten into Griffyndor. But out of the whole table, the only vacant place just had to be the one beside her. She bet it was Harry and Ron's doing. They knew she hated that guy's guts. And… Oh, god. He didn't just gulp down a whole roast-beef in one move. She felt sick just by looking at him. "Nobody ever taught you proper manners?"

"My parents didn't have the power to reach me from the grave when I was young, and no one cared enough to do that. So, I guess the answer is N-O. No." Saying this he took a hold of a bowl of sausages while Hermione turned her head to him with such a fast move that she almost hurt herself. Naruto blinked at her incredulous stare. "Wow… Do I eat in such a bad way?"

"No… I mean, yes, but that's not the point. I…" She lowered her gaze. "I didn't know… You were an orphan…"

"Don't worry, I'm used to it." He stopped eating to flash her one of his trademark grins. Then he pulled out of nowhere an handkerchief and wiped his mouth clean. "But I suppose that I could try to eat with some manners. I'm in England, after all."

"…" She nodded and returned to her own food. "That would be appreciated."

"Ron, can you pass me the porridge? Than… WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

--

"Darn, this thing is complicated…" Naruto was about to pull his hair out in frustration. Things just kept on becoming more and more complicated. First thing, how the hell was he supposed to protect Harry when he himself had suddenly decided to put himself up for a competition that could very likely kill him in front of a large crowd? He thought that sometimes he was more of an idiot than Ron... And the guy threw a bowl of porridge at him to see if he could catch it. A couple of Gryffindor girls beat the hell out of him when it landed on their heads. Well, Harry, though, said that it hadn't been him… And on top of it, he could understand why everyone hated Piton's lessons. Not only was the guy a prince of assholes, but the subject itself was difficult. "How many young cockatoos are born every year with a suitable array of feathers to be used for the Thunderbluff potion? … HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!"

"Keep your voice down, will you?! It's not the library, but the common room is still a public place." Hermione admonished Naruto in her favourite way. Slightly bonking him on the head with the book he needed to shut up. She opened it in front of him. "Here. It's in the bibliography."

"The bibliography? That guy is a sadist!" Hermione rolled her eyes and huffed, but nodded nonetheless.

"He probably is… I almost envy you." Naruto blinked at that. "I mean, you will not be here next year. We will have O.W.L.S., and I bet that it will be a genocide."

"Who says I'm going away next year?" Now it was Hermione's turn to be confused. Naruto stared at her with a normal face, interrupting his homework. "My contract clearly says 'To protect the client till the Voldemort incident gets solved'. So, as long as Harry's ass is in danger, I'm staying around. They could send me some backup, but I'm not going back home anytime soon."

"You're not…" Hermione instinctively brought a hand to her mouth. He wasn't… "Doesn't that make you sad at all? Being away from home for so long…"

"A bit, sometimes." He flashed her another of those grins. "But it doesn't last long. I'm having fun here, and you guys are really nice."

"…" She stared at him for a few more seconds and the smiled, shaking her head. "Is there anything in the world able to make you sad, Naruto?"

"The death of a friend. Or when girls don't appreciate my manliness and my innuendo jokes." Blush. Bonk.

"Pervert…"

--

"A dragon! He almost got chomped, swallowed, chewed, eaten by a freaking dragon! How the hell am I supposed to do my work like this?!"

"Keep it down, will you?!" Hermione was sure she was about to get an headache. Ron was acting stupid about Harry getting some attention. Harry was letting attention get to his head a little. And Naruto was throwing a tantrum that he couldn't protect Harry if people kept on putting him in situation where it was 100 sure that he would get at least hurt. He was currently storming down Hogwarts' halls, Hermione behind him. "It's the rules of the tournament! He can't just back down!"

"That damn geezer is so going to get a piece of me!"

"Are you even listening?!"

"Sorry, too focused on how to make the most powerful mage of the world quiver in fear!"

"Oh, for the love of… …" Hermione reacted on instinct, following rage, exasperation and something else that she would later identify as her hormones. She grabbed him by the scarf, pulled him down to her level and kissed him hungrily. Naruto kept his eyes open during the whole thing, a little more than just shocked. When she stopped, she was flushing, but her glare was still in place. "… Calmed down a bit?"

"…" Naruto pinched his left cheek. "Yeah… I did…"

"… Good." She turned around and they stayed in complete silence for a few seconds, before Hermione decided to talk again. "Don't think much of it, okay? It was just to shut you up."

"So… If I shout you are going to stop me like that?" Hermione blushed even more.

"Y-Yeah… Something like that…"

"… DUMBLEDORE! GET YOUR WRINKLY OLD ASS DOWN HERE AND…"

"I-IDIOT! ALRIGHT! I GET IT!"

--

"Screw what I said about that Fleur girl. You're the most beautiful sight I've ever seen."

Hermione blushed. He never learned, did he? She didn't mind his compliments, but in public? What the hell possessed her to accept his invite to the dance, declaring to the whole world that they had something going on? When he came into striking range she bonked him on the head again. And then took his offered arm.

"I swear, I don't understand what's with me. I mean, what do I find cute in you?" She said out loud for him to hear, while still blushing. "You're stupid, loud, obnoxious and a pervert."

"Sorry if I get you so confused, Hermione. Myself, I know exactly what I like about you." She 'Hmphed'.

"And what… Is it?"

"A lot of things. You're smart, dedicate, hard-working, sweet, pretty, and your squeals are so cute…" Bonk. "And yes. This as well."

"This?" Again. He confused her again. She observed her still half-clenched hand. "You mean… When I bonk you on the head?" Naruto nodded.

"Yes. I mean, I knew another girl who bonked me on the head… But with you it's different." He took a few seconds of pause to smile at her, for dramatic effect. "Whenever you hit me it's never without a good reason. And even then, you restrain yourself so that the admonishment is not physical as much as it is moral. You manage to make it look like a caress. A caress of revenge. And that is something that you manage to apply to everything."

"…" She was almost losing herself in those blue orbs.

"No matter what you do: smiling, admonishing, studying, you still manage to stay dignified and feminine, and… Yourself. That's what makes you unique. That's what I love about you. That's why I love you."

"… You… You're the worst…" Good thing she knew a spell that helped to keep in tears and eventual snot, but she couldn't do anything for the sniffs. "Telling me one of the most beautiful and romantic things I've ever heard… Before the dance?" A big sniff. He handed her a handkerchief. "You're supposed to say those kind of things after the dance, idiot! Prooot!"

"Oh, well… I guess it just means I will not get laid this evening either…"

"…" She didn't bonk him on the head because he was wrong about that little detail.

--

"Meet Hermione Granger. Biggest brain in Hogwarts, my girlfriend… And pervert extraordinaire."

"You're the one who wanted to do it during lessons while leaving two copies behind…"

"But you're the one who wanted to do it in Hagrid's shack with Harry's invisibility mantle as a tent. With him inside."

"… I just wanted to see if I could apply a no sound spell to it…"

"I hope it worked…"

"If it didn't, he would be on the ground because of an heart attack, by now. I'm not exactly… Silent."

"As I said, I love your squeals."

"Ah! Don't just… Out of the blue… Oh, god! Keep on doing it!"


	6. Luna Lovegood, Soi Fong

Luna Lovegood

**Luna Lovegood**

_[I]Naruto: 8yo, Luna: 7yo[/I]_

"This is mister Lovegood, Naruto. And that is her daughter, Luna. She's an year younger than you."

"Uh…" The young Naruto shyly observed the girl with a different shade of blonde in her hair than his own who was kneeling near a bush a few meters behind the grown up who he didn't know. He was some kind of… Informatator or whatever it was called for Hokage-jiisan. "What is she doing?"

"Why don't you go ask her? You can play while me and mister Lovegood talk about business."

"A-Alright…" Naruto nodded and approached the girl, who was still kneeling in front of the bush, immobile. He stopped in front of her. "H-Hi…"

"Shhh." Naruto was a bit taken back from the sudden reply. "You scare them."

"…" The little boy had kneeled down beside her, mimicking her posture. "Scare who?"

"The Green Beetles." She replied, keeping her voice down. "They stay invisible if they're scared."

"Ohhh…" He nodded and kept on staring at the same spot she was staring at for a few minutes, before blinking, suddenly noticing that he didn't know what she was talking about. "What are the Green Beetles?"

"A magical kind of beetles. They live under their bushes all the year except for august, when they come out from there and double their size to go looking for food."

"Ohhh… And what do they eat?"

"Mostly smaller beetles."

The Hokage and mister Lovegood chuckled at the two children's behaviour, and how Naruto seemed captivated by Luna's words.

"Your little girl seems pretty knowledgeable."

"I bring her with me in all my travels and she keeps on asking questions. I don't tell her everything, of course. Not yet." He didn't, really. For example, the girl didn't know that the Green Beetles got out of their bushes all the year but august, and that they were a particular kind of ingredient for medicines.

_[I]Naruto: 10yo, Luna: 9yo[/I]_

"Ohhh… You do it like that, then?"

"Look at how that tongue is twisted…"

Ever since meeting Luna, Naruto's life had taken a turn for the weird. Every time they met, Luna had something new to tell or show him, and sometimes she brought with her some kind of book, newspaper or magazine that she had managed to pick from her father's library without being seen. Cue him getting even more isolated by his peers because of how strange the things he talked about were. But he didn't care about it much. This time the book was called '100 ways to kiss: from lips-to-lips to the screwdriver'. An illustrated guide to how adults kissed.

"It's really different from how we do it… We just smack our lips together." Naruto and Luna had gotten curious about what they had seen adults do in the park one morning. They looked like they were enjoying themselves so they tried it. But they didn't get it. "Maybe it's because of this that we don't feel anything? Because they do it another way?"

"Maybe it's because of the Boreflies… They fly around this time of the year…" She flipped another page of the book while she kept on moving her legs on the bed they were resting on. Naruto scratched the top of his head.

"Or maybe it's just that we're too little?" He said, leaning over to look better at the book. Luna nodded.

"Maybe that too." She flipped another page and then turned to look at him. "Well, we can still do some practice for when we are older. So that we already know what to do?"

"Hmmm… I suppose."

_[I]Naruto: 12yo, Luna: 11yo[/I]_

"You said you always wanted to be a ninja."

"I can be that too. Maybe a freelance one?" Those were the first words they said to each other when Luna got in Hogwarts and noticed that someone had gotten in there before her, and that was probably why she hadn't seen him at all the previous year. "I mean, I prefer to be a mage and study here with you."

"Ah… Understood." Then she approached him and hugged him tightly around the neck. He hugged her back, letting out a little smile. She was smiling too. "Hmm… I felt like smiling for some reason. Is it normal?"

"I feel like it too. I suppose it is."

"Ah. By the way…" She broke the embrace and took out another book. This time was called 'Foreplay: fingers and lips are your best friends'. "I took this one from my father's secret stash."

"Ohhh… Let me see."

_[I]Naruto: 14yo, Luna: 13yo[/I]_

"So, that's what the real thing is like."

"My father kept this inside his safe."

The two had become quite famous around Hogwarts. First, because when they weren't hanging around with their respective friends, they were together. Second, because ever since a little incident in the library concerning a pretty heated make-out session during Luna's second year, whenever they disappeared together they were nowhere to be see. Little did they know that the two had suddenly stumbled upon some kind of hidden room that strangely had a lot of things inside them that they needed. A nice, large, comfy bed, a Yakuzzi that looked more like a swimming pool, an angle where they could read with shelves full of books, including copies of Luna's father's secret stash, a large bathroom… The book they were going trough right now was called 'Galaxy's guide to sex'. It was an enormous tome.

"Here says that… Human bodies are ready for sex since the first erection for males and the first menstruation for females. Ah… Then, we should have done it, like… Two, three years ago?" Commented Naruto. Luna shook her head.

"No. Here says that psychologically is totally another matter. Especially for girls." Naruto blinked and told Luna to move a little to the side so that he could read her same page. He put his left arm around her lower back to get more comfortable. "Try to not grope me, if you can. Focus on this. It says that 'It's custom for the first time to be with a person that you love truly in a romantic way, because it's an unique moment that you will keep a memory of forever'."

"Ah… Damn, then we're stuck."

"Don't grope my ass. Focus."

"You know that it helps me think." Indeed it did. Luna flushed a little but just leaned on his left shoulder while he kept on thinking. "Hmmm… How do you know when you love someone that way?"

"I suppose we have to research on the thing." Replied Luna absentminded. She had asked Naruto to not grope her because it was her the one who couldn't focus if he did that. Her ass was a very sensitive spot. And years of practice had basically made Naruto memorize every spot of them.

_[I]Naruto: 16yo, Luna: 15yo[/I]_

"So… Here we are."

"Here we are."

After an year of researching, they came to a conclusion. Most of the pieces of information they managed to get their hands on showed something: 'Confrontation'. To be sure of something, you have to compare it to something else, usually. So, they came to an agreement. They would break every kind of contact for one year and try other people. When Luna told Ginny using the same words the red-head made her noticed that they were talking about other people like they were clothes. Now, exactly a year after, in that same room that was later going to be used as a hidden base for a group of students that didn't want their Defence against Dark Arts grades to be abyssal, they were standing on their knees on a bed, staring at each other in the eyes.

"Who goes first?" He asked.

"I will. You ask the questions." Naruto nodded.

"Kissing?"

"They were all horrible. It felt like I was dating Labradors. You?"

"Girls seem to be more natural to it. I didn't have to wash my jacket every time, but… They still were nothing compared to you." Luna smiled and nodded. "Foreplay?"

"So and so. The first time they were all horrible, though. Ron came as soon as I touched him." Naruto rolled his eyes while Luna chuckled.

"Most of the girls were quite… Not very eager to do it." He said, scratching the back of his head. "Those who did were not very skilled. Apart Ginny. Ginny seemed to be a natural. She was awfully good at it."

"Ehm… That would be my fault." Naruto raised an eyebrow and Luna moved her head to the side, laughing. "I… Gave her some pointers…"

"I thought the technique was familiar." He shrugged it off. "And finally… Still a virgin? I am."

"… Yes." She said, smiling and lowering her gaze. He smiled as well and then hugged her.

"We told each other what we did… But… About how you felt?" He said while she hugged him back.

"… I couldn't stop thinking about you." She said, her voice barely more than a whisper, while he caressed her back. "No matter what I did or who I was with… I kept on thinking about you."

"… Luna…" Naruto moved his head back and softly kissed her on the lips, time and time again. Their eyes closed slowly, and he began to slowly follow her lead, making her fall on her back on the bed.

"Naruto…" She brought her own hands to his face. "Please be gentle…"

"I'm always gentle, if you don't say otherwise."

"… They always say it, in those books… Ahhh…" She missed his soft kisses on her neck. She missed his hands massaging every inch of her body. She missed his warmth. She missed him.

"I love you, Luna Lovegood…"

"I love you too, Naruto Uzumaki…"

--

"Well… What now?" After a long night of sex and fourteen different positions, a good night of sleep, and some sweet cuddling they were both staring at the ceiling, her head on his chest, and one of his arms around her shoulders. "I mean, after sex… Is there anything more? S&M isn't really my thing, and toys aren't really that attractive to me…"

"Hmmm… Maybe…" Luna suddenly got up from her bed, covering herself with one of the sheets. She didn't know exactly why. She picked up a book and did a quick jump on the bed, landing beside Naruto. He observed the book. The title was 'How to get another girl to join you and your girlfriend'. "This one?"

"…" Naruto rubbed his chin and thought about it… Then he chuckled. "Ginny?"

"Ginny." Ron never got over it.

**[B]Soi Fong[/B]**

"From today onwards you're going to train to become full fledged members of the second division." Soi Fong, ever since becoming the new captain of the second Division had taken upon herself to make the speech to the new trainees that periodically applied to join the execution forces. She was just talking, eyeing nothing in particular, but to many others it looked like she was eyeing the little sea of green-clad people. Two hundred trainees. Out of them, usually a max of 50 every year survived the training, that included several highly dangerous missions in the real world. "There are no particular rules to follow. The ones who will join the forces officially will be the ones who will survive the training. And insubordination will not be tolerated. You will be asked to show proper respect to your elders and superiors. And finally…"

"Rooonf…" Everyone froze. The trainees. The official members of the division. Even Soi Fong. Everyone slowly turned around towards who had probably just wished for his death. The most incredible thing was that he was still in his kneeling position. If it wasn't for his closed eyes and the loud snore they would have never noticed. "Zzzzzzz…"

"…" Soi Fong didn't react further. She just moved her right in a horizontal move and let lose a blade she had hidden in her captain's vest. The projectile weapon sped towards the sleeping trainee… Who, when the blade was at least than three inches away from his forehead, opened his eyes, caught the weapon in mid-air, rotated on himself and threw it back towards Soi Fong.

"!" The captain was surprised by the sudden reaction, but not as much as to let the weapon harm her in any way. She caught it while her bodyguards surrounded the trainee and held a blade close to every single one of his vital spots.

"Uhhh…" He slowly moved his head to look around, being very careful to not hurt himself against the blades held to his throat. "Sorry. It's a reflex… It happens when they throw things at me in my sleep…"

"… Let him go." As one man, the guards let go of the blonde haired trainee at the command of their captain. He felt the stare of the woman who was giving them the entrance speech. The captain of the second division. She was just staring at him without saying anything. The situation got awkward very soon, in his eyes.

"Ehm… Thanks?" He said, trying to break that unnerving silence.

"…" Soi Fong stared at him for another few seconds and thenturned around, signalling the end of the speech, now ruined. Not that it was much a speech to begin with, but no one dared to tell her that. "You're all dismissed."

"…" Everyone got back on their feet and the blonde turned to the fellow trainee on his right. "Who was that chick?"

"YOU WANT TO JOIN THIS DIVISION AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE FACE OF ITS CAPTAIN?!"

--

"…" Soi Fong had to examine personally the profiles of the surviving 83 trainee. The first half of their training was finished. But she didn't know why, her mind immediately brought her to examine the profile of the strange man who had fallen asleep in the middle of her entrance speech years before. After that, the two hadn't met or talked or had any kind of contact, but the captain hadn't forgotten him. She had seen something in his eyes, in that brief moment between sleep and complete awareness. The moment when he reacted to her attack on pure reflexes and body memory. Something that had captivated her… That, and she had never been one who was forgetful about insults. "Uzumaki Naruto…"

The profile had a pic too. Like the others, the lower part of his face was covered, but what she only had interest in the eyes… And she found no trace of that light in the eyes of the person in the picture. Then, his evaluations. Martial Arts: Excellent. Weapons: Optimal. Kido: Average. Strategy: Above average. Stealth: Optimal. Tactics: Excellent.

"…" Not the best rankings she had ever seen. Not at all. But nothing in that profile could explain to her what she had witnessed that day… And on top of it, there had been people with better rankings that had died in the process. Then, an idea.

--

"Hmmm… Training room #25… Here it is."

From the second half of the training onwards, the trainees were to be followed by a personal evaluator and master, that would keep track of their progress and help them perfect the skills where they lacked mastery. Naruto was supposed to meet his own one in the training room #25… What he didn't understand was why only he was supposed to meet his master in a training room so far from the trainee's barracks? It was in the second division's territory. He shrugged it off. He cleared his voice and opened the door.

"Hello? I was told to come here to meet… …" Good thing he had the mask on. His eyes alone were ridiculous. The expression on the lower part of his face was comical. "Taichou?"

"Not yet." Soi Fong was standing in the middle of the room, clad in a completely black battle suit, her arms crossed and her stare on him. "For the duration of the training you will refer to me as Soi Fong-sama."

"… Isn't sensei enough? WOAH!" Naruto barely dodged a kunai to his lower parts. He was scared out of his mind that there was someone crazy enough to really aim there. Soi Fong didn't even twitch.

"Soi Fong-sama." Naruto couldn't do nothing but nod. "I will not go easy on you, trainee." The blonde felt like whimpering 'Mommy', but he was sure she would take another shot at castrating him if he did.

--

"Focus! You're doing a lot of useless movements!"

"Like it's easy!" It wasn't very easy having a martial arts fight on top of a forest of bamboo sticks. Naruto always thought that it was a joke, but the second division best members really trained like that. His hand and feet hurt from all the violent landings and immediate bouncing away he had done. There were even some deep cuts in them.

Soi Fong had believed that his martial arts wouldn't have been something they would need to work on, but she was wrong. His form was terrible. He had a lot of openings. She could hit him like she wanted. When she interrogated the evaluators about the thing, they replied that they had of course noticed, but they couldn't do anything but rank him excellent because he had never lost a hand to hand fight.

She noticed why just after a few fights with him. Real ones. Scratch sparring. His reflexes were first rate. His hits heavy. And his endurance was something unbelievable. He was clearly superior to her in that area. And there was the fact that he suddenly had this flashes of pure genius in the middle of the fight. Like in that moment. She thought he would try another blind rush at her, but he had suddenly stopped and used his hands to bounce to her right. He then proceeded to make a 180 turn around her and then run at her left side ready to strike. And that was the first time he had did something unexpected and fast enough to penetrate her defence.

"!" The punch hit her. Hard. She was sent flying for a couple of meters before she reacted and did a little somersault, landing gracefully on a bamboo stick a few meters afar from him. He had stopped moving as well to regain some breath, and to take in that he had finally landed a good hit on her. "…" She moved her right hand over the point where he had hit her. _[I]He broke two of my ribs with that hit.[/I]_ "Well done… You actually managed to do some damage to me."

"Eh… Thanks, I guess…" Naruto grinned and rubbed the back of his head. It was the first time she had complimented him ever since they started the training… Then he almost wet himself when he noticed that she had suddenly let out all her Reiatsu.

"I suppose I can begin to be really serious, from now on." Naruto's screams could be heard in the whole sereitei.

--

"Mhhh…" Maybe it was because he couldn't sleep well because of his sore body, but that night he was finally able to notice that someone was observing him while sleeping. And in observing, it was hovering above him on all fours while checking his body clad just in boxers and a t-shirt. He sweatdropped. "Soi Fong-sama… What the hell are you doing?"

"Oh, you woke up?" Said Soi Fong, a little surprise in her voice. He had never woke up before. She shrugged it off and returned to observe her student's body. "Nothing much. I've been doing it for a while…"

"… And what exactly are you doing?" He felt really, really awkward.

"Trying to understand why your wounds, no matter how bad they are, always heal overnight." She raised her head to look at him in the eyes. Naruto blinked, but then rolled his eyes. He should have expected her to notice.

"Sorry, Soi Fong-sama. I don't trust you enough to tell you that."

"… You don't trust me enough?" She said, repeating his sentence. He just nodded.

"Nope. I don't. We currently just have a stu… No, slave-master relationship. It's not a kind of relationship that can make me spill the beans on one of my secrets."

"… Understandable." She still wasn't moving from above him. If someone was to enter the room they would easily misunderstand. "So, I have to make you trust me more?"

"That. Or you could try to seduce me into saying it. But I don't think you're up for that." The blush on the captain's face was enough to confirm that he indeed was right. And it earned him another bruise to heal overnight.

--

"Congratulations on finally joining the second division. Out of the 200 who started, you 40 have succeeded."

He had finally gotten out of the green trainee outfit. He was now a full fledged member of the execution forces, donning the official black outfit. He felt like he was taking his ANBU exam again. This time he was being sure to not fall asleep during his Taichou's speech.

"From now on you will be given even more dangerous missions. Try to not die. Dismissed." He winched. She was doing great till the 'Try to not die' thing. He got up from the ground and was about to walk away when he felt something slipping in his pocket. He got out of the room and he picked it out. The handwriting was Soi Fong's one. He read it and then shunpoed away, reappearing in the room written on the piece of paper. Soi Fong was already there, along with her personal guard. "You've come as soon as possible."

"As always… Well, not always. I mean, to come too fast in some situations is…" Glare. "Nevermind. Uzumaki Naruto present and accounted four, Soi Fong-sama."

"Good. Well, I suppose you're familiar with my personal guard." Naruto looked around. Even if some members had changed, he still recognized them.

"Yes, I am." _[I]I'm more familiar with the edges of their swords, to tell the truth…[/I]_

"From today onward, you will become even more familiar with them." Naruto didn't raise his head but still blinked. Then froze. She had found another way to personally whip him around. "I've trained you personally, so I know what you're capable of. I've chosen you to be the newest member of my personal guard. Try to not let me down, Uzumaki."

"…" He silently groaned. That woman was impossible. Was he that interesting, to her? "Yes, Soi Fong-sama."

"You're dismissed."

--

Soi Fong found herself growling and palming her own face a lot, ever since she chose to nominate Naruto as one of her personal bodyguards. She had done so because she knew that his overall abilities were Lieutenant level, and to keep him close. But it seemed that the only time he chose to be stealthy was when there was real danger. As in, he usually walked around in plain sight a few meters from her. Even during the captains' meeting. How he had managed to come in was behind her. And little did she know that it was all a little revenge from Naruto. Even now…

"You can go away… I'm just writing in my diary, now… I've dismissed all the others about an hour ago." She felt her forehead twitch more and more.

"But captain, it would be against my orders to leave you alone when I'm the strongest of your bodyguards." She banged the desk with her head. That damn idiot… Not that he wasn't right, but… Argh. He was standing attached to the ceiling with his feet, reading a magazine while invading her personal space and time. "Ah, by the way, Taichou…"

"What?"

"I think your boobs have grown a little."

"Eh?! Really?! … …" Hook, sink and liner. She hid her rapidly growing red face with both her hands. Naruto smirked in triumph behind his mask. But he nodded nonetheless.

"Yup, really. When I first met you were as flat as a billboard. Now you have a B-Cup. I guess drinking all that milk like Rangiku-san suggested has worked." He simply said. She blushed even more.

"How do you know about that?" He right out laughed and let himself fall from the ceiling, sitting on the ground.

"I just take my role as a bodyguard seriously, Taichou. Even more when the body to guard is getting even more beautiful…"

"…" She slowly let her hands go lower and lower, till she uncovered her eyes and nose. Her eyes were a bit narrow. "Was that a compliment, Uzumaki?"

"I guess it was."

"…" Soi Fong had never been one to really paid more attention than needed to her body, but… He had done so for her, it seemed. She completely lowered her hands and turned to face him. "Explain?"

"Uh?" Naruto blinked.

"Explain what you find 'beautiful' in me." Now Naruto was seriously thinking 'I've fucked up'. The only thing he had paid attention to was her chest. He calmed down and began to think.

"Well…" He observed her from head to toe a couple of times. "Your chest isn't anything to boast about, but the rest is… A nice sight."

"Explain more. I want… Details." She was blushing just at saying that. Naruto blushed as well.

"Ehm…" He scratched the back of his head. "You have an overall nice figure. I guess years of training does that. You have an athletic and toned body, but not so much that it gets ugly to look at. The thing that stands out the most about you is your legs. And your piercing eyes."

"…" She blushed even more. Now that she thought about it, it was the first time a male complimented her about her looks. Most of them didn't even get close to her anymore. "… Now that I think about it…"

"Yes? ! What the!" Soi Fong had suddenly tackled him to the ground, and got a hold of his mask.

"I've never seen your face. Show it to me."

"T-Taichou! Stop!" Nothing could do. She had already slipped it down, and had discarded the piece of clothing covering his hair as well. She observed him. Just one word came to her. She had heard her former Taichou use it a few times. Handsome. She blushed. Naruto groaned and blushed as well. "You could have just asked…"

"S-Sorry. I…"

"Soi Fong! How's it going?! I passed by to check if… Oh, my." Naruto and Soi Fong panicked and immediately turned to the door. Matsumoto Rangiku. That had the worst timing of the world. The well endowed Lieutenant observed them for a while, then smirked. "Soi Fong, if I knew that gaining a size would make you so bold, I would have asked the research and development department for some kind of…"

"I-IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" While Soi Fong shot back up and pulled her inside to stop her from talking nonsense in the middle of the corridor, Naruto whimpered. _[I]Why me?[/I]_

_--  
_

Matsumoto Rangiku was many things. But Soi Fong would have never thought that she was such a voyeuristic pervert. In exchange for her silence, they had to agree to take some… Shots in casual mortal clothes while in… Particular poses.

"Ahhh! This one is great! Lookie here! Soi Fong, you must have a horny face!" She had to restrain the blush. Otherwise they would never take that shot. She had on a couple of jeans that covered just up to mid-butt leaving exposed her pink/white striped panties, and a short-sleeveled redshirt tied in a knot just below her breasts, accentuating them. Naruto was just in jeans and boxers, plus a necklace around his neck. The pose was him against the wall, his hands around her waist, looking down at her. She had her hands crossed behind his neck and one leg wrapped around his body, looking at him back with pure 'horny' in her eyes. Click. Click. Click. "Done! You've been great, guys!" Soi Fong and Naruto quickly pushed each other away from the other, finally letting out the blushes they had been holding in. "I'll pass by tomorrow to let you see how they came out! Bu-bye!" And with that, she was away. Naruto sighed deeply.

"There are a lot of strange Shinigamis around, hn?"

"Y-Yes…" Soi Fong was holding two hands on her chest, instinctively covering it. She was feeling very very hot, and her heart was menacing to burst her chest open. And yet… "… You know…"

"Uh? What?"

"…" She turned around to face him, but she still held her head down. "T-There was a pose… That I kinda liked…"

"…" Naruto blushed redder. He scratched the tip of his nose. "Which one?"

"…" Soi Fong walked to him and turned around, leaning her back against his chest. She then threw her arms back and crossed them behind his neck. Naruto understood and remembered. He crossed his arms over her chest and leaned his right hand on her left breast and his left hand on her right breast. "… It's… It's kinda nice…"

"…" Naruto cursed himself for being only human. He gave her breasts a tentative squeeze. He got a low moan as a reply. So he slowly moved his head to the side, and she instinctively did the same, turning so that she could face him. She instinctively closed her eyes and leaned in for the kiss. He squeezed her breasts hard right after, making her moan loudly in the kiss. After he finished kissing her, he slowly leaned her on the ground. He was on all fours over her, her arms behind his neck. "Shouldn't, we know… Turn off the lights?" Soi Fong quickly clapped her hands twice. The lights turned off. She then pulled him to her for another kiss.

--

"I expected to find you still wallowing in depression for my betrayal and all that…" Yoruichi had guessed that it would be better if she went and made sure that Soi Fong really wasn't going to take part in the battle for the life of Kuchiki Rukia. She really didn't expect to find her in such a predicament. "I didn't expect to find out you finally got laid! Congratulations, Soi Fong!"

"YORUICHI! WHAT PART OF 'I'M CURRENTLY HAVING SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND' YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND?!"

"Ehhhh? But I wanted to join in…" Naruto groaned and bashed the back of his head on the floor.

"A threesome with two captain level female Shinigami? I'm not sure if I want to repeat the experience, Soi Fong…"


	7. Ginny Weasley, Special

**Ginny Weasley**

"Ah! Boy! That's the wrong…"

"Ouch!"

"Wrong wall…"

That's how they first met. She was just keeping company to her mother while their brothers were to take the train that would take them to Hogwarts. And then she saw another boy who seemed to have heard of the 'run in the wall' thing, but had gotten the wrong wall. He met it face first, since he was holding his luggage behind him. He was currently rubbing his sore nose on the ground. She left her mother's side to go check on him, mimicked by the older woman right after. "Are you alright?"

"Been better… Owie…" He got back on his feet and brushed his clothes. She took her time to observe him. He had unusual hair, like her. There weren't many people with that shade of blonde, or that were that spiky. And blue eyes. And she had those things on his cheeks that made him look like a cat… Or a fox? He suddenly smiled at her. "Thanks for the concern."

"Oh, dear. You need to pay more attention. The right wall is the one over there." Said her mother, pointing to the wall her brothers and that dark haired boy had walked into a few seconds before.

"Ah, really? Thanks, mrs… Uhm, I don't think I got your name…" He said, scratching the back of his head. She giggled. He was funny.

"Mrs Weasley. And she's my daughter Ginny." Replied the woman, smiling warmly. He nodded and smiled back, while taking a hold of his trolley again.

"Alright. Thanks for the help, Weasley-san. Ginny-chan." He bowed and then ran through the right wall, this time. Ginny blinked in confusion at the strange words he had used, while Mrs Weasley emitted a 'Ahhhh…' of sudden understanding.

"Mom, what does 'chan' mean?"

--

From what she had been explained, the strange boy who she hadn't gotten the name of was some kind of exchanged student from a far, far country. And 'chan' was an affectionate suffix that they used for cute girls in his country. When his brothers came back home, though, she heard that they had gotten quite friendly with him. His name was Naruto, they said. They said that he was the best prankster they had ever seen as well. That made her mother pale. Even better than Fred and George? The world was doomed. But it just made her even more curious. She wanted to know more about him. In her eyes, she as interesting as Harry Potter… Well, almost.

When she joined Hogwarts as well, she was surprised when she found out he was in Griffyndor as well. He was the first one to wave at her when she walked to the table. Cue her brothers asking him how the hell he knew their sister, and why the hell he had never told them he had met her and their mother. He simply replied that he never asked for their surnames. She giggled when he saw her brothers, for once, speechless.

But due to her shyness and her brothers hogging him all his time for his pranks, she never got to talk to him that much. The first time they talked for real was after the diary incident. She was in the infirmary when she woke up, surrounded by her brothers, Harry and a certain Hermione. She asked if it had been Harry to save her. He shook his head. He said that Naruto had helped her. He said that he had got swallowed by the basilisk but had made him explode from the inside by doing that multiplication thing she had seen him doing a couple of times. Only with a lot more of copies. When she asked why he wasn't there with them, they pointed behind her. He was sleeping in the bed to her right. He had passed out after making the snake explode. When he woke up, it was evening, and she was reading a book.

"Yaaawn… What a nap… Oh! Ginny-chan! Are you alright?!" Ginny put the book down and turned to him. She nodded. Then she lowered her head.

"I'm… I'm sorry if you got in trouble because of me…" She said, looking at her hands while talking. He shook his head.

"No problem! I mean, I got to kill a huge snake! That was so cool!" When she heard his words, she stared at him confused and then giggled again.

"You're so strange…"

"Ah, by the way… You really were that lonely?" Ginny felt a little embarrassed at that. "That bastard Tom, there… He told us that you turned to him because you were lonely."

"… Yes, it's true. I… I didn't make many friends…"

"… I'm sorry." She got confused when he bowed to her in apology. "I would have wanted to talk to you right away but your brothers kept on telling me that we had to work on those new prank things. I can't believe I overlooked how lonely you were. I was once in the same situation…" He raised his head again and gave her a thumbs up. "I promise you that I will never let something like this happen to you again! And that I will never let you alone again!"

"…" She didn't know why. She was still 11, she wasn't that experienced with relationship between people… But she liked the sound of those words. She smiled at him and nodded. "You promised."

"Of course! I never go back on my words! That's… Waaaaah!" He fell from the bed. She couldn't help but laugh. She really needed it.

--

Naruto really never let her alone again. Every time he had some free time, he went to search for her. They talked about lots of things and then did a lots of things together as well. She loved when he let her ride his back and he jumped from roof to roof of Hogwarts. In her mind it was even better than riding a broomstick. And she loved messing with his hair as well. He didn't like it very much, but he let her do it all the same. He was always there for her, doing all he could to make her smile. That was how she found herself, during her third year, his fourth one, giving him their first kiss.

It was right after the dance. He had asked her to come with him, not understanding that the point of the whole thing was asking someone you liked that way. She loved how clueless he could be. After the dance he had taken her for a walk near the lake. Just in time to see Hagrid get rejected, hidden behind a bush.

"Poor Hagrid… It was going well…" He frowned. "I mean, what the hell did he say that was wrong?! She WAS a half-giant! It was so evident!" Ginny rolled her eyes in reply.

"Girls don't like when people call them big, Naruto." She hit him on his right arm. Then she made her best imitation of a fainting princess, the back of one of her hands on her forehead. "They want beautiful men to tell them how frail, delicate and beautiful they are…"

"Well, you are. She wasn't!" She giggled and let her head rest on his shoulder.

"You really don't get it, hn?" She pushed him away and sat in front of him. "Come on, try it. Make me some compliments."

"Hmmm…" Naruto squinted his eyes in concentration. "Well, you are…"

"Not like this, baka." She liked the sound of that word he had taught her. "Like you want to make compliments to get what Hagrid wanted."

"Ahhh… Alright." He cleared his voice and took one of her hands in his for dramatic effect. "You're the most beautiful creature I've ever laid my eyes on. Your grace, your eyes, your hair that shine as brightly as a flame have captivated me. I'm your humble slave."

"Hmmm… A bit corny, but… Not bad." She said, giggling. Then she put on a smug look. "Tell me the truth. You took it from some kind of TV drama."

"Eheheheh… Yes." He scratched the back of his head while talking. Then he stopped when he realized something. "I don't understand what Hagrid wanted to get, though…" She laughed. Was he really that clueless?

"Well… He wanted to get this." But she liked him for that too.

"!" Naruto suddenly found his mouth sealed by a pair of soft lips. A pair of soft lips that decided to move a little in the kiss and get a little help by Ginny's tongue in making him blush as red as her hair. When the kiss ended, she smiled at him, hugged him and leaned her head on his shoulder again.

"And then some of this too…" She nuzzled his neck and then decided that it was a good place to fall asleep. Naruto didn't say anything and stayed in that position till she woke up.

--

It was during his fifth year that she really feared for his life for the first time. All the time she had known him, he always looked proud, strong, almost invincible. Laughing, studying, loving her, training in those strange things he did by crossing his fingers… It was during the battle at the ministry. When the Death-Eaters had managed to reach them for the prophecy. When that huge battle of spells began. Naruto was by far the most targeted out of all of them. His speed and the fact that was able to fight without a wand made him the most dangerous opponent for Voldemort's servants.

And then… It happened. He interfered with Harry and Sirius' battle. Naruto liked Sirius very much. They got along very well, almost as much as Sirius and Harry got along. That was why he did what he did. He jumped towards them and pushed them out of the way of that green ray of light. He wasn't fast enough to dodge it. She screamed his name. The battle continued around them, but she ran to him. She shook him hard, trying to wake him up. Nothing. She cried on his body… And then… After a while, it happened.

His body got covered in red twice, that day. Red from the strange light that enveloped his body. Then red by the blood of the death-eaters he slaughtered. He got dust and some green on him as well. Dust from the half destroyed ministry and green from the blood of Voldemort's body. The normal world covered it up as an earthquake. The magical world remembered it as Voldemort's second death.

--

"Can I see him?"

"Yes. He was very weak at the beginning, but he has recovered very fast. As usual."

"… As usual." She bowed slightly to madame Chips and entered the infirmary. He was in that same bed. He was looking at the ceiling, even if she knew he had realized she had walked into the room. She walked to him and sat on the bed next to his one. They didn't talk for a while. He kept on staring at the ceiling while she stared at him. "The short version is that… The energy and evil intent of the Avada Kevadra got nullified by more powerful energy and more evil intent contained in your body."

"…" He sighed and slowly turned to her. "I guess I have to spill the beans, hn?"

"… No." She got up from the bed, walked to him and hugged him. "I don't care what it was. I just know that it kept you alive. That's enough for me."

"… I suppose." He hugged her back. She didn't move from that position at all. She just climbed the bed and made herself more comfortable. And for once, Madame Chips didn't say anything. They were just too cute to disturb.

--

"… What are you going to do, now?"

"… I'm not going to leave school." Naruto sat in front of the lake where Dumbledore's funeral had taken place a couple of days before, Ginny hugging his waist and leaning his head on his right shoulder. She liked doing that, letting him play with her hair. He relaxed her. Most of their friends and the people who had been in Dumbledore's Army were talking about fighting, revenge, leaving school in order to do that… Not him. "I know they will probably going to get angry at me for saying this, but… I think they need me here."

"… Why?"

"Dumbledore never wished for Voldemort's death. What he wished for was a better world. A better future for everyone. Including the students in this school." He observed the castle. "Getting rid of his killer is something that Harry wants to do personally, and it's probably something that has to be done but… Not letting this school and his spirit die is as important." He stopped petting her. "Out of this school can make many Dumbledores but many Voldemorts as well. And it's up to the teachers to be sure that that doesn't happen."

"…" She raised her head. "You want to become a teacher?"

"No." He immediately replied. "I want to become Hogwarts' next headmaster. And the guardian of all the students that come in here."

"…" She shook her head and smiled. Yes. It was just like him. She kissed his cheek and then pushed him on his back and sat on his stomach. "Alright. Nice plans for the future, mister 'I killed Voldemort once so he's probably shit scared of coming near me till he finds a way to kill me'. Now I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do myself."

"Okay?" He said, laughing a little.

"I'm 16 years old and my boyfriend is nearly 17. I'm going to have sex with him on the grass right now. And then I'll see." She leaned down on him and kissed him deeply. He rolled his eyes.

"You're really incredible, you know that?"

"Shhh. I'm trying to get you out of your pants, right now…"

**Little Red Riding Hood**

"And remember, Red… Don't talk with strangers! And watch out for…"

"The wolf, I know… Mom, seriously, why the hell am I still doing this shit?! I'm 20, for fuck's sake!" Indeed she was. Long gone was the little girl who got herself and her granny in trouble to the point of being swallowed whole by a wolf. Good thing at that time forest guards were more effective than nowadays, and a passing-by hunter had rescued them. Now LRRH, Red for friends, had grown into a fine young woman. Tall, voluptuous, sexy. Her big blue eyes had gotten smaller but they were still beautiful. Her creamy skin had put Snowwhite to shame, at the last meeting of the 'FWA'. Fabled Women Association. Her silky black hair had made ravens think that they should start take better care of their feathers, if that colour could look so beautiful. Ruby lips stole the heart of more than a man. And yet… Every month it was the same thing.

Picnic basket? Checked. Food? Checked. Flowers? Checked. And she still wore the same thing. A long hood and a skirt, both of the same red colour, coupled with a pair of black polish shoes and white shorts. And finally, a white shirt under the hood. The only thing that had changed from when she was a little girl. Not that she minded. That set-up looked good on her when she was baby, it still looked good on her now that she had boobs. But it was the whole 'trek the forest-go to grandma-get eaten-get saved' thing that wasn't to her liking anymore. She was suspecting that her mother had gone senile at the age of 48. "I mean… GRANDMA IS DEAD! WE BURIED HER WRINKLY OLD ASS LAST YEAR!"

"Y-You mean… You don't want to go?" Red winched. Not that. Not again. She just couldn't bear her mother doing the 'trembling lip'. "You… You're going to make… To make mommy cry?!"

"Oh, please!" She threw up her hands in frustration.

"And do you know what happens to girls that make mommy cry?!"

"I'M GOING!" Red ran outside and slammed the door behind her. If she stayed behind and heard the story of the orc with fish-stinking feet one more time, she was probably going to gut her mom and bury her in their basement.

--

"Ehm… I think I'm lost… Do you know what road I must take to reach this place?"

Naruto had seen his fair share of strange and weird assignments but this was by far the weirdest and strangest. Act as a replacement for the old hunter/forest guard who had just been forced to retire. Something to do with certain relationships with an individual better known as Pedobear. But it wasn't the work per se that was strange. It was the place! How could you call a forest where animals talked and you had to ask for directions to rabbits who were in the middle of the sacred predicament of smoking crack?

"Ahh… You're da new one… No problem." The rabbit took another breath of smoke out of his carrot-shaped bong, and then pointed to the road to his right. "Follow da road over dere and you'll be dere in five minutes."

"Ehm… Excuse me for the boldness, but… Are you sure it's the right direction?" He just had to ask. He didn't know what crack did to rabbits, but he had seen what he did to humans. The rabbit just stared at him and took another breath.

"Dude… I've been smoking dis shit for years and woke up in places that I don't want to remember, but de freaking old man always went down dat road every freaking 10th of the month."

"Ah. Alright then. Thanks." Naruto bowed and began to walk in the direction. He was currently following a few notes that the old hunter had left behind for him. The first one was written in big characters. "Pass by the old grandma's house every 10th of every month at 11 AM… Mah."

--

"Mhhh… Lake, lake of my charms… Who's got the sexiest milkshake in the yard?" It was a lame, lame distortion of Grimilde's talk to the mirror fused with a now lame song, but it wasn't like there was anyone around to tell her that. And after all, she was right. She really got the sexiest 'milkshake' in the yard. So, being a little vain could be excused. She liked observing her looks in the reflection of the lake every once in a while. She sighed. A top model would cower in shame at the sight of her body… And yet she was stuck in that damn forest because of her mom. The 'gut and bury in the basement' plan was becoming more and more alluring by the second. "Hmmm… All this beauty… And not a male around…" She heard the usual rustle. She frowned. "Apart stupid, old, ugly wolves who just don't get tired of having their stomachs filled with stones." She got back on her feet and put back on her hood while the old wolf got out of the bush. The old animal, after all the stitches he got for every time they cut open his stomach, had opted for getting a zipper sewed on his body.

"Oh, little girl. Where are you…"

"Go fuck yourself, wolf. You and my mother can go and have hybrid children for all I care." She just walked past the old animal. He was about to say something else… "Yes. I know that I'm breaking the fourth wall. Go tell someone who cares. Maybe they could finally fire me!" Said that, the girl hurried out of the clearing, leaving behind the old wolf alone.

"… Eheheheheh. Joke and laugh till you can, Hoodie… COUGH! This time I WILL devour you! And not only that." The wolf had planned everything, this time. He knew that this time he would succeed. No one could stop him. He had gotten sure that the hunter was fire by hiding those Pedobear signed Lolita magazines under his bed. And he had planned everything else too. He picked out the list. "Point number one: Buy new teeth in steel. Checked. Point number two: Chew and take your time to eat her slowly. No swallowing. Point number three: Rape her before eating her… Wait a minute. Shouldn't this be point number two?"

--

"Ahhh… This sucks…"

Red hated going to her grandma's house because she always made her feel sad and without free will. Because going trough her photos, she understood who she had gotten her good looks from. And even other things. The granny, at the 'tender' age of 83, still put most pornstars to shame. And a friend of her had taught her a technique to keep her looks like she was still 20. Too bad the bitch bit the dust before teaching it to Red. So, she was currently rolling around on the bed, whining about all that she longed for and her grandma had. She KNEW the bitch had.

"I want a real life, I want a real job, I want friends, I want a house for my own, I want a car, I want to go to the movies and watch a horror, I want a cute boyfriend…" For the last part she sat on the bed and built her voice to scream out loud. "I WANT TO GET LAID!"

--

"What the hell?!" Naruto got startled by the sudden female scream that got from the road ahead, in the direction that she was heading for. "It came from… Grandma's home?" He looked at the map and then at the notes and then back at the road ahead. "Don't tell me this happens every month?! I better hurry!"

--

"Eheheh… Here I come, hoodie…"

The old wolf could feel the pleasure, the orgasm building in anticipation. He was finally getting revenge for all the years of humiliation and gutting of his intestines. He was finally going to get his filthy paws on that damn red-clad bitch, have his way with her in more than a way, then eat her slowly like you do with a finely cooked thanksgiving turkey…

"Hold it right there!" The wolf turned around. Who the hell was that youngster? Who… Oh, shit. Was that a kunai he had in his right hand? "Where's the girl, beast?!"

"G-Girl?! What girl?!"

"You can't fool me!" Naruto held the notes in his free hand. For that day there was just two notes under the 'go to grandma's house' thing. 'Gut wolf' and 'Free girl from his stomach'. His eyes went wide. "OH MY GOD! YOU ATE HER WHOLE?!"

"N-NOT YET! I MEAN, NO! I… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

--

She had tried to get some sleep when screams of agony woke her up. She grunted and got out of her bed. She slammed open the entrance's door.

"What the hell is all the fuss, you old… F… …" It was a marvellous sight. She froze on the spot. It was fantastic, in her eyes. A handsome blonde guy with his clothes ripped in various points, covered in blood, sweat and pieces of wolf, flexing his muscles in the act of ripping the remains of the beast in even smaller shreds. She felt her legs about to give away. She almost came on the spot. "… Oh my god…"

"What the… There's no girl, here… Uh?" He suddenly noticed someone standing in the doorway of the house. A young girl. He approached her in a hurry, letting what little was left of the wolf fall to the ground. He took her hands in his ones, looking at her in the eyes. "Are you okay?! You're not hurt, are you?!"

"…" Red had been playing some many scenarios of meeting a guy for the first time in her mind that that one was included. She knew exactly what to do with the handsome young guy who had just probably freed her of her chains. She made her eyes water up. "I… I was so scared!" She threw her arms around him, hugging him and crying in his chest. "He started following me and I closed the door and hid inside! He said he was going to… To… Waaah!"

"Shhh! It's okay, it's okay." He hugged her back and rubbed her back and hair. "He's not going to hurt you anymore… Well, I don't think he's going to do anything anymore…"

"W-What's your name?" She broke the embrace and took his hands in her ones, looking at him.

"Naruto Uzumaki. And you are?"

"Red…" First part of the plan completed. And she just LOVED that grin. "Well, want to come inside? My grandma died a while ago, but the house still has water and light… Maybe a shower…"

"Ehm… I suppose." Naruto removed a slightly bigger piece of wolf from his right shoulder. She smiled and slowly led him inside, closing the door behind them… And tackling him to the ground right after.

--

"And that is the story of how the story of Little Red Riding Hood became M-Rated and Naruto met a match for his stamina. End!" Jiraiya closed his book and observed his audience. The boys and most of the girls seemed to have loved it, but there was of course still someone who observed him with their jaws hanging. "Ah, right. And it's also the story of how Naruto went MIA."

"AND YOU TELL US JUST NOW?!"

"Well… He asked me to keep the secret… But since Red's calendar is coming out along with the movie, it's not like it matters anymore…"


	8. Special, Raven DC

**[B]Hannah Montana[/B]**

"You want me to do what?"

"Sigh… I guess I'll have to explain everything from the beginning." Actually, Naruto had understood every word perfectly. But he wanted to be sure to have got it right. Because, if he got it right, he would be sure that his old, dear, baa-chan had finally gone senile… Or maybe juvenile. The Godaime snapped her fingers and Shizune suddenly closed the curtains of her office and turned on a projector, displaying the image of a girl with blonde hair. He had seen her around… A lot. TV, posters, CDs… "A couple of years ago this girl suddenly appeared in the musical world. Hannah Montana. She's currently one of the most famous and young singers in the world. Her talent is undeniable, and her looks and young spirit are a great attractive to everyone, particularly teenagers."

"I know who she is. Most famous?" Naruto cleaned one of his ears with his right pinky. "I don't like her that much…"

"Fool. I bet you haven't ever even listened to one of her songs." Tsunade glared at his young protégé. "If I don't hit you where you stand right now it's because we have work to do. The problem with her is that… She basically doesn't exist."

"Uh?" Naruto blinked at that. What did she mean?

"We checked. There's no birth certificate nor anything that a person named 'Hannah Montana' was ever born. It's a stage name. A fake one." Naruto shrugged his shoulders.

"So what?"

"It doesn't make sense." Tsunade replied flatly. "Why would someone so talented and famous want to hide her true identity and name? What if it's related to something obscure? Her sudden and enormous rise in popularity is not normal."

_[I]Baa-chan probably doesn't know the power of evil… As in, the power of Disney.[/I]_ Naruto rolled his eyes. It was her who wasn't making sense.

"We suspect that there's someone behind her. Some kind of organization."

_[I]Please don't say that, Baa-chan. Don't say that.[/I]_

"Maybe even Akatsuki." Naruto palmed his face. Loudly. "Maybe they want her to become famous, an icon with lots of fan ready to die for her… For a second reason." Tsunade got up from her chair and snapped her fingers again. Shizune opened the curtains. "Your mission, Naruto, is to find out the true identity of Hannah Montana, and discover if her existence is a threat to the world as we know it!" Naruto wanted to bash his head in a wall. Hard. "Now, go!"

"…" Naruto was between crying and laughing. The situation was just too ridiculous, and Tsunade's imitation of the EBA's chief didn't help. But he knew that he couldn't refuse a mission without a good reason. And there wasn't any that he could find at the moment. He threw his arms up in defeat. "Alright, alright. Hokage-sama. I'll discover the true identity of Hannah Montana and eventually bring her to justice."

"Good. You…"

"Along with a complete discography all autographed by her, you freaking stalker." Tsunade froze. How did he…

--

Before going around the world searching for a technically inexistent person, Naruto decided to do some homework, with the help of Shikamaru, who was more than happy to help. He was a fan of the girl as well. Figures… With his help, he managed to find out something that had been till that moment overlooked. The planes the girl used to move to her concerts' locations. They all departed from different places, and Hannah always bought tickets for the full trip. Technically he was on board from the plane's first boarding. That was why nobody had ever noticed that most of the airplanes made a stop in a certain airport. Hypothetical location done.

Then he began to gather info about her. What she said she liked and what she didn't… He didn't find many useful things. And there was no guarantee that they weren't all lies. So, he had to take a guess with that. Someone famous who wants his real identity to stay hidden will probably try to lead a normal life. So, a normal school, acting like a normal girl, living in a normal house… Well, normal. Most of people there had houses by the seaside. Well, no matter. He chose to try a first school. So the next step was… Enrolment. But before that… Make up?

"Shizune-neechan, tell me again why I'm doing this?" Naruto was currently about to undergo a complete treatment that included lengthening of his hair so that it could be cut in a fashionable style and a permanent Genjutsu that would hide his whiskers till the mission was done.

"Because normal boys don't have whiskers, Naruto. And most of all, girls of that age usually go after cute guys. If Hannah acts like a normal girl, the more cute you are the more are the probabilities…"

"To lure her in?" He sent her a sceptical share. Then shook his head and frowned. He had a bad feeling about that…

--

Always trust a feeling from Naruto. Ever since he had entered that school he hadn't had time for a single minute of investigation. Because of fangirls. Normal ones were crazy, but yaoi ones were a plague to the world, in his opinion. He couldn't go around and stalk people because he himself was always stalked.

_[I]Shizune-neechan did too much of a good work..[/I]_ He groaned while eating the cafeteria food. On top of that, it had been weeks ever since he had last eaten ramen. Good ramen. Instant-ready ramen was sold around there as well, but he had grown up used to the ambrosia that was Ichiraku's. He emitted something that resembled a low growl when he heard footsteps approaching him.

"Can…"

"I will not go out with you, I will not write you anything anywhere, and there's no way in hell I'm going to pose for a Yaoi drawing, you sick twisted…"

"Ehm… We just wanted to sit?"

"Uh?" Naruto his head to the right and laid eyes on two girls that seemed somewhat normal, in his eyes. He blushed in embarrassment. "Ehm… Sure. Go ahead."

"Thank you…" They sat in the vacant places on his right. Silence reigned supreme till the brown haired girl couldn't resist the impulse to ask… "Pose for a Yaoi drawing?"

"Don't mention it ever again." He sighed deeply and tried to focus on the food instead of the bad mental images. With not much success. "I swear, nowadays Yaoi is everywhere. I can't stand it as much as I can't stand Hannah Montana."

"…" He heard the sound of a fork digging a bit too deeply in a plate. "You don't like her?"

"Frankly? No." He had gotten a sudden attack of sincerity due to exasperation. "No one knows what she's really like, but I'm pretty sure she's some kind of bimbo with a cute face and a nice voice. I bet she doesn't even write her own songs. Not that they are too much of anything, as text. And I bet that this whole 'you can't know who I really am' is all to draw even more attention to herself."

"… Have you tried the curry they make here?" He didn't notice the voice of the brunette had become a little more strained.

"Nope."

"Oh, well. There's a first time for everything." Before Naruto could do anything to stop her the girl had got back on her feet and emptied her bowl of curry on his head, under the stares of the whole cafeteria. She then put the bowl back on the table. "I think it's a bit too spicy. What about you?"

"…" Naruto just couldn't get how the hell she managed to kept her voice cheerful even while clearly taunting him. "Let me guess. You're a fan?"

"Big time." He groaned. He was about to get up from the table to go wash his hair, to not draw more unwanted attention to herself… When a wicked idea came to his mind.

"Oh, well. You know what I like? Dogs." The girl didn't understand at first, but as soon as Naruto began to shake his head, her mouth opened in a loud 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'. Too late. Naruto's long hair threw curry everywhere, including on her. The food battle that ensued became legendary in the school's history. When it ended, the girl noticed that Naruto had managed to sneak out in the middle of the battle and was now deliberately walking in front of her and her friend completely clean. She had the sudden impulse of clawing his eyes out. And she already could hear her father's words of admonishment. 'Remember what the shrink said about 'people who are not your fans', Hannah?' Not that Lily would let it down either.

"Way to go, 'Hannah's biggest fan'! You just ruined all my chances of talking to the cute transfer student!"

"Ya think?!"

--

"Sweet nibblets. You're serious."

Miley just couldn't believe the guts or plain sheer stupidity of the guy in front of her. The same guy who clearly hated her other identity and had introduced herself to her showering her in the curry she had dropped on his head.

"I just asked you out. Don't get your panties in a twist." Naruto lowered his head to dodge the blow. The girl was about to blow a fuse.

"… Our first meeting triggered the biggest food battle in this school since Vietnam, we've kept on throwin' each other glares and bludgeoning objects every time we talk or even look at each other…"

"You've been. I've just dodged everything and ignored you with smug looks on my face." He dodged another set of pens. She was becoming more accurate by the day.

"Whatever! The point is, since we're basically as friendly as cat and dog, and I get dibs on being the dog since you're so 'agile', what makes you think my reply can be positive?! What made you ask me out in the first place?!"

"To the first question, because going out with me will give you plenty of opportunities to exact your revenge on me." She frowned. Good point. "Second question, because you're the only girl in this school with some brains. Or, enough brains to not become like the ones behind the corner." She turned her head and saw a hint of a stalking fangirl before the creature retreated behind the corner. She sighed and covered her eyes.

"… Touch me and you're dead."

"Cool. I pick you up at eight o'clock. Be pretty. And drop purple." Naruto blocked the thrown chair with one hand, got up from his seat and smirked. The assignment was hell, but there was this funny side to it.

--

"So… How did it go?"

A father usually waits for his daughter's return home because he's worried about her well-being in the sexual way, mostly. But since his daughter had told him that she was going out with the guy with which she had been at each other's throat ever since their first meeting, Robby became worried that he would see the police getting back home with her. Fortunately, she had come back home alone. Pretty pissed off and a mess of her clothes, but there was no blood on them, at least.

"How did it go?! HOW DID IT GO?!" She didn't care about the neighbour, it seemed. She stormed to the fridge and began to search for ice cream while ranting. "I sat in the car and he made me notice that I was 5 minutes late! You're not supposed to do that with a girl! Then, we spent the whole trip to the movies discussin' about which one to see! I won after threatenin' to scream 'RAPE!' somewhere during the first half!" He palmed his face while she closed the fridge and tried to force open the box of ice-cream. "We saw a romantic movie and he managed to find all the flaws of it at the point that now I hate that movie too! Then he brought me to eat something and managed to get us banned from there! Then we went for a walk on the beach, I shouted every insult I had been keeping in for the whole evening at him, we made out for an hour and then I punched him a black eye! And here I am! Just freaking-tastic!"

"…" Robby rolled his eyes while observing his daughter stuffing her mouth with ice-cream. Teens… "So… When are you two meeting again?"

"Next week. Day on the beach. I swear I'm going to kill him, sooner or later."

"So I suppose the one hour make out session was for the sake of your revenge?"

"YES IT WAS!"

"We're probably the most twisted couple ever existed."

"That's because you always hit me at least once every time we go out."

"That's because you are an ass to me every time."

"Not always. When we…"

"Well, we're a bit occupied during those moments!" She hit him on the top of his head with a book. They were supposed to be study chemistry, not talk about their love life that would make her father, brother and all her fans have an heart-attack, if word of it got out. That made her remember the 'gift' that she had brought to her boyfriend. Naruto was beginning to think that he would never discover who the hell was this Hannah Montana. It had already been two years since he started that mission. He hated the freaking mystery singer every day more. Suddenly, Miley's hand showed him something. He frowned.

"Hannah's latest CD?"

"I can't have a boyfriend who has not even tried to listen to my favourite singer."

"…" He just stared.

"It was that or a concert." He snatched it out of her hand.

"Just give me the damn thing…"

"…" Naruto was getting a damn headache. An enormous headache. He just couldn't understand how it had happened. And Miley grinning like a Cheshire cat didn't help. He mumbled something.

"I didn't get that." She teased him. He frowned.

"… ed it."

"I can't hear youuuu…"

"I LIKED IT! ALRIGHT?!" He hit himself in the face with his own punch right after. "I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT I LIKE HER MUSIC!" Miley laughed, and her inner self did a little victory dance.

"Well, wanna meet her, then?"

"…" He blushed, still angry. "One thing at the time… Wait a minute." The words had just sank in. "You know her?"

"Just a minute." She suddenly opened her room's closed at took out two things: a wig and a container for contacts. She turned his back to him. He blinked. She tied her hair, put on the wigs and the contacts. She turned around. He blinked. "Hi! My friend Miley told me you're a biiiiiiiig fan of mine!" Thump. He had fainted and fell on his back on the floor. Hard. She blinked. "Well… That went better than what I thought."

"NARUTO, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN WITH 'I KNOW WHO HANNAH MONTANA IS BUT I CAN'T EXPOSE HER TRUE IDENTITY BECAUSE I'M DATING HER'?!"

"Tsunade-sama, keep your voice down on the phone… WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT?!"

**[B]Raven[/B]**

"Again!"

"I'm not going to play with Raven's things ever again!"

"Again!"

"I'm not going to play with Raven's things ever again! Please, Cyborg! Let me stand up!"

"NO! Again!"

"How is he?"

"Seems he's fine." While Cyborg made BB do squats with the fridge on his back, Robin was checking on the state of the blonde that had 'suddenly appeared after he had touched the thingy that was shining red in Raven's room' according to the green boy, using the machines of the tower, helped by a concerned Starfire and a stoic Raven. He removed his eyes from the X-Ray vision machine. "No damage at all. He's perfectly fine. Just exhausted from the… interdimensional jump. Is that right, Raven?" The black haired teen nodded.

"Yes… But as I said, I suggest that we restrain him further." Raven was dubious and worried about the boy because of why he had appeared. She had the habit of scanning the interdimensional continuum for traces of dangers via one magical tool she managed to get a hold of during their missions. BB had touched it while it was 'shining red'. Red was the highest level of danger. That meant that whatever had been identified was a very powerful demon. Near her father's level, if not equal. And Beast Boy had managed to make the tool's setting change from scan to 'subdue' while detecting that same demon. Robin turned to her.

"Raven, I've checked on him. He's perfectly normal… Well, normal on the levels of an Olympic-level athlete." The leader of the Titans scratched the top of his head. "Every muscle of his body is trained and strong. I think he would be a good spar. But there's no trace of demonical power. Both you and the machines can't detect anything."

"… Still…"

"Owwww… Did you see the boulder that hit me on top of the head?" Everyone in the room had turned towards the source of the voice. The awakening blonde guy with the strange 'whiskers' on his cheeks. He groaned and blinked till his vision became something more than a blur. Then he blinked quizzically because he didn't recognize his surroundings… Or the people surrounding him. "Ehm… Where am I?" The, he observed himself. "And what the hell happened to my clothes?"

The Titans sweatdropped while the girls blushed. Yep. Even Raven. Since they had found him passed out and butt naked in her room…

--

"So… Basically the boy with the strange hair over there…"

"Looks who's talking!"

"At least I have a normal colour of hair! I was saying, he basically made me jump from my dimension to another?" Robin nodded and then scratched the top of his nose. The guy, now dressed in some of his spare normal clothes (orange t-shirt and green pants), was taking this surprisingly well.

"… You make it sound like you see things like these everyday." Suddenly voiced Raven. She still didn't trust their new acquaintance, even if he hadn't jumped at their throats right after waking up. He just nodded in reply.

"Somewhat…" Then, he grinned. "Wanna see?! It's cool!"

"…" Raven was beginning to summon her powers while she observed the boy make some strange seals with his hands. She had seen right. He was probably some kind of mage. Suddenly, he slammed the palm of his hand on the ground.

"Summoning technique!"

"! Watch out!" Suddenly, smoked filled the room, startling the Titans and making them stand in a guard stance. "I was right… You're an enemy! You summoned some of your minions…"

"I wouldn't call him a minion."

"I'm no minion, aniki!"

"…" The smoke was starting to clear. Raven narrowed her eyes to better observe… Then she froze. And screamed.

--

"Priceless! Ahahahahah! I've never seen Raven so startled!" Raven was using all her might and meditation experience to keep her rage under control. What was so funny? So she was afraid of frogs. What was the big deal? She just freaked out and suddenly started to throw everything in sight at the horse-sized frog and other random targets. BB patted the blonde on his right shoulder. "I like you, man! If you take back what you said about my hair, I think we can get along fine!"

"Deal." The grinning blonde then turned to the others. "I haven't even said my name, by the way. I'm Naruto! Uzumaki Naruto! The strongest ninja ever alive!"

"A Japanese name?" Said Robin, rubbing his chin.

"I suppose that the whole 'summoning' thing was a ninja technique too, hn?" Naruto nodded and Cyborg decided that their moody companion needed a little more teasing. "Just try to not summon frogs when Raven's around!"

"I'll keep that in mind. I don't see fridges thrown at me very often!" Naruto shared a laugh with the rest of the group, while Raven grumbled. But the atmosphere was broken when something undetectable was suddenly put on the table by the other girl in the group. While Naruto blinked, he could swear he had just seen the thing do the same at him, Robin groaned.

"It was already your turn to cook, Starfire?"

"… That thing is trying to seduce me. I swear, it keeps on winking at me!"

--

"Nice spar. You've done well." Robin offered Naruto a hand that he took with a pout.

"Yeah, yeah. You just say that because you've won." The leader of the titans had been right. Naruto really was a good spar. Almost no form and technique, but he made up for it with endurance. He pulled him back up. "Damn, I don't think I've ever seen anyone move like yourself."

"I've been trained by one of the best ones." Simply replied Robin and wiped the sweat from his face with a towel that he then threw at Naruto. "What about taking part in one of our training sessions, tomorrow? That way you will able to go all out."

"Sounds great. But now I think I'll go and hit the showers. See you at dinner!" Naruto waved at him while turning around and Robin chuckled a bit and began to walk up the stairs. He preferred to use his own room's shower. Naruto walked to the common ones and opened the water. "They're really fun to be around. Even if I don't understand why that Raven girl is always moody… AHHHH!" He had turned around and had found himself face to face with said moody girl. Good thing he had decided to keep his towel on till the water got warm enough. "W-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"What kind of demon are you?" That made Naruto blink and stop from throwing a tantrum about emo stalker girls. "The tool that brought you here signalled that it had detected a very powerful demon, before it malfunctioned and acted as a interdimensional door. I want to know what kind of demon you are. And if you are not, what kind of relationship you have with one."

"…" Naruto stared at her… And then rolled his eyes, sighing. He had finally understood what had kept the girl on her toes for the whole week he had been the Titans' guest. "Short version? I have my world's most powerful demon sealed in my belly. When you picked me up I was using his power."

"…" Raven observed his face a little sceptical. It was the first time she had heard of a demon being sealed inside a human… But that would explain why she had not been able to detect anything from him. "I see… You can control its power willingly?"

"Yes. But it also comes out whenever I get angry… The more angry I get…" She stared at him for a while. Then, she nodded.

"I understand. Sorry for… Intruding on you."

"Don't worry. I was just…" Naruto's towel had chosen that exact moment to drop from his waist. They both blushed.

--

"So, you have… A demon sealed inside yourself as well?" Another training session had just ended. And Naruto had been observing Raven whenever he could without getting himself hurt. The girl seemed to know a lot about demons and her powers seemed some kind of magic. That's what made him ask while walking beside her in the hall.

"… No." She shook his head. "My father himself is one of the most powerful and evil demons ever existed."

"…" Naruto blinked once. Twice. Thrice. The he silently groaned. Couldn't the girl act a little more normal, from time to time? Like, show some emotions to make herself easier to… Then it sank in. "… Don't tell me that your powers…"

"They react to my emotions. I keep them under control by always being… 'Moody'." She joked on his choice of words. "They're mostly for telekinetic use, if they're suppressed. But… Do you remember when I got scared because of your frog?" He nodded. How could he forget? It was complete chaos. And BB had to mute in a snake and change his skin to get the burns off himself. And he could swear that some of the shadows were starting to take shapes. "That was when I was scared. Imagine if I get angry."

"…" Naruto scratched his right cheek, sweating a little. Her angry self would probably get along really well with his four-tailed state. "They react… To every kind of emotion?"

"…" She stayed silent for a few seconds. Then she closed her eyes. "Most of them."

"…" Naruto stared at her for a few seconds before sighing and hugging her from behind. Raven was startled by the sudden gesture.

"… Why?" She was a little confused.

"Because you just looked like you could really use one."

"…" She didn't say anything. She just observed his arms enveloping her pale body for a while. Then, she raised her right hand and leaned it on them. "I suppose…"

--

"… This is ridiculous."

"No. The fact that you didn't even know what a tan was is ridiculous. Going to the beach is a normal thing."

"KAWABONGA!" Raven shielded them from BB suddenly turning in a little whale during the jump from the cliff, splashing most of the beach with water. Robin and Cyborg were trying to make Starfire understand that humans didn't have to get a Frisbee with their mouths like dogs. And Naruto was trying to get Raven to walk in the sun with just her swimsuit on.

"Oh, come on. It's not like you have anything to be ashamed off. You've got one hell of a body." Naruto tried the way of flattery.

"… The problem is that I show too much of it." She was blushing, and still couldn't understand how they had persuaded her to get in a bikini in the first place. "I mean… It barely covers… My breasts…"

"Ehm, that's my fault. You didn't look like a C-Cup, to me. So I told Starfire to get a B-Cup sized bikini." She blushed even more. She supposed she was her fault in the first place, since she hadn't wanted to share that kind of information when Starfire asked her. But she still wasn't taking off the beach towel. Naruto groaned and then sat beside her. "Fine! I'm not moving from here till you get that thing off or you get a heat-stroke!"

"…" Raven slowly turned to him, observing his face. Then, an idea came to her mind. "You want to see me in a swimming suit that badly?" He snorted and crossed his arms behind his head.

"Please. I just want you to open up a little, and you have a nice body, but Starfire beats you on every front." She frowned and turned around again. He just snickered. "Yes. I'm being an asshole."

"…" Raven began to observe Starfire, taking in her body… Then she peeked at herself under the towel. She then slowly turned to Naruto again. "Mine are bigger."

"It's not just a matter of chest… Wait, what did you just say?"

--

"Focus. Empty your mind."

"I'm trying!" Naruto had his eyes closed, his legs crossed and his arms extended in Raven's same position. The only difference was that he wasn't levitating. She had offered to Naruto to join her in her meditating sessions. But he was being horrible. She sighed when she noticed that it wasn't working at all and hovered back to the ground.

"What's distracting you so much?"

"Eh!" He suddenly shot his eyes open and stared at her in surprise. She was confused. It was a simple question. He blushed and turned around. "…"

"… What is it?"

"… elf."

"…" She stood silent, but she knew he would notice that she wanted a clearer version of the sentence.

"… You." She blinked. "It's… Pretty awkward… Being alone in the your room… With you."

"…" She blinked one more time. She found herself doing that a lot around Naruto. "What do you mean?" He groaned and punched his head a couple of times.

"You really are hopeless! I really have to say it clearly?!" He shouted. She just kept on being silent. He sighed and turned to her, blushing and with a pouting face. "… I like you."

"… What?" She flushed. And still couldn't get the words to completely sink in.

"I like you! I find you attractive and nice to be around! And I'd like to ask you out if I wasn't so shy! And I just can't understand why I'm shy around you, out of every girl I've ever met in my life!"

"…" She stared at him, flushing by now as much as him, but without allowing her face to change as much more as her eyes getting slightly larger. She then moved her gaze to the ground. That day she had big problems in meditating too.

--

"What… What's this?"

"Well… I thought… If I couldn't take you out, I could bring you somewhere near here…" Very near. The rocky shore just below the T-Tower. When he asked her to come with her somewhere, she didn't expect him to bring her there… In front of a levelled rock with a towel and something to eat and drink. He helped her sit down on the towel and handed her something to drink. He smiled and then pointed at the sky. She raised her head and blinked. Since when could the sky and stars be seen so clearly from there, with all the light pollution of the city nearby? "A little trick I learned from an acquaintance who stuffed a crow in my mouth."

"…" She would have to ask him about that later. Right now, she just was mesmerized by the sight. It was just ten minutes later that she noticed she had started holding one of his hands at some point. She blushed and felt her heart skip a beat. But she gave his hand a squeeze nonetheless. "… Do you… I mean… Why?"

"… I don't really know." He smiled, shaking his head. She turned to him. He turned to her as well and brought his free hand to her left cheek. She let out a soft 'Oh.' He smiled at her while caressing it. "Does it matter, though?"

"…" She stared back at him. And with her heart beating that fast, she was wondering why she hadn't lost control of her powers. She could swear that his eyes were shining, for a moment. She brought her own free hand to his hand caressing her face. "No…"

"…" He closed his eyes and leaned towards her. She stopped him.

"No." He blinked. Maybe he had been too forward? "Please… Keep your eyes open?"

"…" He smiled and complied with her wishes. It was a bit awkward to kiss while staring back at each other but… It was a good first kiss nonetheless.

--

It worked even better than meditating. Staring in his eyes, that was. Whenever they were alone, everything they did they did staring in each other's eyes. She found herself at peace. And she loved it. She especially liked it when they held hands as well while staring into each other's deep orbs. And she loved it when they had sex while staring into each other's eyes and holding hands. That made them unable to try some positions, but… He wasn't picky. And she wasn't either. The others were, it seemed. BB had one day asked Raven to be louder since there was no fun in peeking, otherwise. The others had quite a bit of a problem to extract his unconscious form from the floor in which he had been embedded.

"… What do you see in my eyes that you like so much?" He asked her. She smiled and kissed him on the lips sweetly before replying.

"Completion."


	9. Rydia, Dark Magician Girl

**Rydia (Final Fantasy IV)**

"Argh! One day you'll see! One day I'll be able to jump more than you!"

"Naruto, you're going against a giant frog…" Gamakichi grinned at the boy's antics. It was strange to think that one of his best friends was a human. "And by the way, this is supposed to be resting time for you. What will you do if you're not rested enough for training later?"

"No worries. And after all, it's not tiring physically. It requires a lot of focus, but the biggest physical thing I have to endure is the old frog's hits from his bat." Naruto got back on his feet and stretched his back. He got blocked in that position when something came to his mind. "You know, I always forget to ask… But where do you frogs really come from?" Gamakichi blinked and patted the top of his head. It's not like his hands could really scratch his oily body. Naruto got back in a normal position and brought his right hand to his chin. "I mean… Ero-Sennin told me that I basically summoned you from another dimension, but… This place is in the elemental countries."

"Hmmm, well…" Gamakichi patted his own head a bit more. His father had explained that to him, but how to say it in simple words? "Basically, this mountain is like… A vacation house?" Naruto blinked. Gamakichi tried to be a bit more clear. "Well, our real world is in another dimension, yes. But there are a few places like this one where we like to go and relax once in a while in the various worlds we get summoned to. I suppose it can be a bit confusing to you people…"

"That's why they thought that you lived underground, in the past?" Gamakichi nodded.

"Yeah. Also because we usually build the passages to our dimensions inside caves. People who have seen us go back there by chance have created that myth." Naruto nodded and then 'Hmm'ed some more.

"One more thing… How the hell did you grow so fast in only three years?"

"Ah, that. Well, first, because we summon live for much much longer than you humans. And also because… Well, in our dimension time passes faster than here." Naruto blinked at that. "Well, like… A month in here is… 8 years in our dimension."

"…" Naruto blinked once. Twice. Three times. Then, demonstrating an impressive feat of strength, he pulled Gamakichi's head down to his eye-level. "Gamakichi… What am I doing, right now?"

"Ehm… Training to become stronger?" Naruto nodded but didn't let go of his head.

"And… What exactly do we lack because Akatsuki is more on the move now than everyday from its creation?"

"Ehm… Time?" Naruto nodded again… And then started shaking the huge frog like a rag doll.

"THEN WHY THE HELL ARE WE NOT TRAINING AT YOUR HOME?! I BARELY TRAINED THREE WEEKS IN HERE WHILE I COULD HAVE TRAINED SIX YEARS THERE!"

"AHHHH! S-STOP! I-IT'S… PROHIBITED!" Naruto let Gamakichi go and started to look around for a cave. He found it. It was large enough for Gamakichi to pass through, so it could just be that one. He started to head for it… When he was blocked by a hit to the head courtesy of the elder frog.

"Now, just what do you think you're doing, Naruto?" Asked the old amphibian, sitting on top of Naruto's head. The blonde grumbled, spit out the earth he had eaten and replied.

"Going to your magical dimension where I can train for two more years and still come back here in time to kick the Akatsuki's ass! That's where! Mmph!" The old frog bashed him behind the head again.

"I suppose you didn't hear Gamakichi say that it's prohibited, hn?" Naruto spit out some more earth while the old frog jumped to the ground and turned to face him. "You see, in our dimension there are not just us frogs. There are a lots of clans of summons, some that are never to be summoned to this world."

"So?" Naruto frowned and got back in a sitting position.

"Some clans are rivals, and there are some who hate humans or just simply don't tolerate their presence on their grounds, even if they form contracts and bonds with them." The frog continued. "So, there's the rule that no human may ever be allowed in the world of summons. It would just cause problems and put said human in danger."

"Mmmh… This sucks." But since when did a little danger ever stop Naruto?

--

"I'll be back before they know it…" That very night, Naruto had snuck out to train yet again. Only, this time, he had packed a lots of things. He wasn't going to just train his new secret technique near the old frog's house. He was crossing the cave. And he was grinning to himself. "8 hours inside there… It's like… Damn math! It's a lot! That's enough for me!" He ran inside the cave, grinning with curiosity. Lots of free time to train and a whole new world to explore… Only, he expected to find a tunnel or something like that, inside the cave, not to suddenly fall into darkness screaming like Goofy.

Another thing that he did not expect was to fall into water. Well, what Naruto didn't know was the each clan in the world of the summoning had a special tie with their clan grounds. So, whenever they went through those 'wormholes', they reappeared right inside their clan-grounds. Naruto had no tie of that kind, so his landing place had been completely random. In a place full of water, it seemed. When he regained sense of his surroundings he began to swim towards the surface, drawing a much needed breath.

"Paaaaah! Damn!" Then, he noticed something else. It was hot water. "A… Hot spring?"

"Leviathan? Is that you?" Naruto blinked and turned around, hearing a voice and the clear sound of water splashing around. The water was hot enough to raise fog, it seemed. So much that he could just see the shape and the face of whoever he was talking to… And he blushed right after realizing that he was talking to a human. A human girl. A pretty human girl. And he didn't know if it was a good or bad thing that he was focusing on just the face of the girl, with those big eyes and green hair… She wasn't as entranced as him, though. No, she wasn't entranced at all, actually, since her eyes immediately widened and she covered herself with her hands, submerging herself in water. "Y-You're not Leviathan! Who are you?! What are you doing here?!"

"N-NONONO! It was just…" Suddenly, it seemed like something enormous had just surfaced from under the water just like him. Something much bigger than himself, though, since it had raised a small wave while raising slowly. He could hear water keeping on dripping from behind him, like the place where it was falling from kept on getting higher and higher. And the shape of the shadow that was covering him from behind didn't help to make him less nervous… He slowly turned around… And he blanked. He didn't know why, he didn't know how, but he was face to face with a dragon. A big, mean-looking azure dragon. It kinda remembered him of the ones Kakashi and Zabuza had summoned when they fought, only this one was bigger and real. The dragon suddenly stopped raising from the water, even if he was pretty sure that wasn't the entirety of his body.

**"You seem to haaave… An unwanted visitor, child."** The dragon said, hissing a little under his breath. Naruto didn't know what to say or to do, but he managed to say…

"Please don't eat me." In a low, squeaky voice. He almost had an heart attack when the dragon lowered his head towards him. He heard another noise… A sniff. The thing was sniffing him.

**"A human… It is unusual…"** The monster emitted a low growl. **"Start talking. I've already ate, but I could always use some more food…"**

While Naruto nodded and started explaining why he had suddenly dropped there from the sky, the green haired girl blinked at Leviathan's world. A human? She hadn't seen a human in six years.

--

"A-A-And that's all! I swear! Didn't want to intrude on anyone!" Naruto was facing the ground with his hands. During the conversation he had been allowed out of the water while Leviathan kept on hearing him explain himself. The green haired girl had taken the occasion to get out of the water and get dressed again.

**"Hmmm… The frog clan… That means he comes from a different world than yours, Rydia…"** The green haired girl nodded, a bit sad that that had not been the case. She was dying to know what had happened to Cecil and the others, even if it had passed just three weeks for them. **"So… You say you have come here because you needed more time… To train yourself?"**

"Y-Yes, sir! Just that! I didn't want to peep on your daughter or whatever! I ended up here for mistake! I can go back immediately! Just don't eat me! I probably taste of ramen and fox!" Rydia blinked. She didn't know what ramen was. The word was new to her.

**"Hmmm…"** The water dragon thought about it. The boy was just too scared of him to lie. So, he was telling the truth. **"It seems that you're sincere… Well, if you want, you're welcome to stay."**

"E-Eh? For real?" Naruto raised his head, surprised and relieved that he wasn't going to end his days as the snack of a summon.

**"Even if I wanted, I can't send you back. I have no ties with the world you come from. I suppose that you can stay till your summoning clan finds you."** The dragon then pointed his head to the green haired girl. He took a few seconds to look at her better. She seemed to be around his own age, but she was clearly not a ninja. Her clothes were a bit too… Revealing, other than not suited for that kind of work. He blushed at that thought. **"Her name is Rydia. She's training as well, as a summoner and a black mage, and she's under our direct protection. Try to get along well."**

Said that, the enormous dragon took his leave and gracefully but with speed went back underwater, raising very little waves in the process, leaving the two humans alone on the shore of the hot-water lake. Naruto stared at the water for a bit before returning his gaze to the girl, who was staring at him too, it seemed. He got back on his feet and scratched the back of his head.

"Ehm… So…" He really didn't know what to say. Even more awkward was the fact that she wasn't beating him to a pulp or anything, like he had expected her to do. "You're… Rydia, right? It's a nice name."

"Thanks." She simply said, smiling a little. Naruto blushed a little. He wasn't used to so little words with so much gentleness in them.

"I'm… Naruto, by the way." He extended to her his hand. She promptly extended her own one as well, and gently grasped and shook his one back. "Nice to… Ehm, meet you. Sorry about the splash from before."

"Don't worry. I understand…" Maybe, she thought to herself, she was being too kind to someone who could have just seen her naked while bathing, but… It had been years since she had last seen a human being. Might as well try to be friendly.

--

"Come on, focus. I'm sure you can do it."

"Hmmm…" Naruto had his arms held forward, focusing all his will and the energy he had gathered from the surrounding ambience around a small tree. He focused and focused and focused… "Fire!"

"…"

"…" The two waited for a few seconds… Nothing. Not even a spark. Naruto groaned and fell on his butt, hard. "I told you, you must be mistaken! There's no way I can learn magic! Isn't it like, a blood thing?!"

"That's summoning, silly." Rydia chuckled and dropped gently on her knees. "Everyone can learn magic, with time and study. But I'm sure you have a particular attitude for it… I can feel it." Naruto sighed.

It had been almost a month since he had arrived there. Since now he had a lot more time, he had split his day between training in the sage arts, normal physical training and rest… And free time. Rydia had been showing him around that part of the summoning realm. After learning that even if there were like, less than twenty summons in that island, each one was so powerful that if they fought with the Kyuubi it would end in a draw or complete annihilation for the fox, the girl had one day found out that he hypothetically had a good attitude for black magic. But in a week, he hadn't managed to even learn fire, who was the simplest spell of all, she had said to him.

"Thanks for the trust, but… You said that it took you almost a year before learning it, right?" She just smiled at him.

"Because my mother was making me study white magic, black magic and summoning magic all at the same time." She then turned her head to the right side and smiled again at him, a bit wider this time. "So, one more time? For me?"

"…" He sighed and got back on his feet, defeated. He had no chances when she smiled at him like that. He didn't know why, but he just loved that expression on her face. He extended his arms and focused his attention on the three again along with the needed energy. She had told him a trick, once… Focus on a feeling that you can associate with fire, something… He searched through his mind… And suddenly, a burst of flames enveloped the small tree and began to turn it to ashes. "Woah!"

"You did it!" Rydia jumped in the air and then hugged him around the neck with her slender arms. Naruto blushed, feeling two pair of very big things pressing against his back. What a coincidence that that was exactly the feeling he had focused on. How his face always went 'aflame' whenever she became that affectionate to him. "I knew you could do it!"

"Ehm, thanks. I… OUCH!"

"YOU DAMN IDIOT! I TOLD YOU THAT IT WAS PROHIBITED!" Fear the wrath of the frog-club.

--

"Your level keeps on increasing! You're mastering the katas!"

"Eh! With such a teacher and all this time spent on training!" After reuniting with his teacher, Naruto's training had continued on going on even smoother than before. After perfecting his technique of energy gathering, they had started training in frog-fu. And Naruto was like a prodigy in it. In six months he had already mastered several katas. Well, his kage bunshin technique had helped a lot. They two landed one more time on the ground, with Naruto drawing a quick breath and smirking. "One more time!"

"Naruto!" He was about to throw himself into the fray of battle one more time, when he heard that melodious voice again. He sighed and turned around, finding Rydia at the feet of the tree he was standing on. "It's lunch time!"

"But Rydia, I was so into it…" To his pouting face, Rydia only reacted with tapping her left foot on the ground and pointing at the ground. He sighed again. "Alright, alright. Sorry, duty's call."

"Don't worry, go." Naruto dropped down from the tree in front of a pouting Rydia while the old frog dropped on the shore of the nearby lake, where a certain water-dragon emerged from it. "They seem to be getting along very well, right?"

**"Indeed. And I must say that I'm actually happy that your student dropped in the hot-water lake all those months ago."** The two summons observed while Naruto tried to apologize for complaining by setting the towel and the food on the thing all on his own. **"Rydia needed to get stronger to face the future dangers in her world, but… With no one around for 8 years, I would feared for her abilities to get acquainted with anyone but the people she already knew… It would have hindered other things."**

"What other things?" Asked the frog, observing Naruto's handiwork on setting up a perfect picnic.

**"Rydia is the last summoner. The last of her kind."** That made the amphibian's eyes go wide and turn to the master of the sea. **"Like some humans say… 'Nuff said."**

"…" The frog palmed his face. "He really is Jiraiya's pupil…"

"Come on! You know I always do that! Please, forgive me?" Said Naruto, holding his hands clasped together in front of his face. Rydia still held her pout…

"Then, you have to let me do it." Naruto sweatdropped. There was no way out of that, hn? He sighed and nodded. Rydia smiled and took some of the food with a fork and held it in front of his mouth. "Open wide! Aaaaahm!"

"Aaaaahm…" He rolled his eyes while the girl fed him his food. She just loved doing it, it seemed. She didn't know herself why.

--

"Fira!"

"Blizzaga!"

"Bio!"

"Tornado!"

"AAAAARGH!" Among other things, they had taken the habit of doing a spells challenge every month. And in two years, Naruto had never won once. Rydia was just that powerful of a black mage. Naruto's endurance didn't do him that good. He groaned as his butt hit the ground hard. "Ouuuuch… You won again…"

"And with this it's 15 wins for me, 0 for you!" Naruto grumbled.

"Yeah, rub it in, will you?" He turned around pouting, and began to look at the sky above, while Rydia chuckled and hugged him from behind. Naruto blushed a little. After two years the effect lessened, but it was still there. Especially because Rydia had just gotten more voluptuous with time, while he had just grown taller, stronger and such… Well, maybe a bit more handsome, he guessed. So much time… And yet, in his world, just a week had passed. "It's been two years, hn?"

"Yes… For me…" Naruto couldn't see it, but Rydia's face had saddened a little at those words. "It has been 8 years… Tomorrow, I mean…"

"We both go back home. We have worlds to save, after all…" The blonde sighed. "Well, give them your best… Uh?" Naruto suddenly felt something wet his shoulder. And then, sniffs… And hiccups? He turned around and he saw… Rydia was crying? The only times he had seen her cry was when she hurt herself or something. What… "H-Hey!"

"Sniff… It's… I mean, I don't… I don't want to go…" He blinked while she cried a bit more. He brought his hands to her face. "I… I want to stay with you…"

"…" He knew he should have blushed, but he didn't. Instead, he just rubbed his face a bit more and hugged her to him. "You know… I feel the same way…"

"Sniff… It's not fair…" She hugged him tighter, crying harder than before. Naruto never was one for crying, otherwise he would have shed some tears as well, he guessed… He still didn't know exactly why, though.

--

"Repeat that again!"

**"It's sort of… A deal."** Leviathan was about to bring Rydia back to her world. Cecil and the others needed her help, now. **"Save the world… And we'll create a permanent passage between your world and your mate's one."**

"…" Rydia bypassed the word mate. She had just one thing in mind, by now.

--

"Rydia, you're ali…"

"GOLBEZ IS DEAD?! HE'S DEAD, RIGHT?! HAVE WE SAVED THE WORLD?!" The paladin blinked while Rydia shook him like a raga doll. Strange question…

"Ehm… I suppose, but…"

_I… Cannot fail…_

"AH! HE'S STILL ALIVE! COME BACK HERE, YOU… YOU BAD ARM!"

--

"Hmmm…" Naruto sighed while observing the sky, his back laying on the grass. He had found himself doing that a lot of times, lately. And that was something out of character for him, other than being extremely annoying to his cloud-gazing companion.

"Really, Naruto, what's been eating you?" Shikamaru got in a sitting position, observing the form of one of his oldest friends. Everyone was surprised when they found him coming back aged of two years instead of one month. What really surprised them was how strong he had gotten. And what was with that thing? Using ninjutsu without handsigns? Well, the effect was… Explosive nonetheless. "I mean, you defeated akatsuki, there's peace all over the elemental countries and you've suddenly become one of the world's most sought after bachelors. What's bothering you?"

"… I miss someone…" Naruto kept on observing the sky, trying to find a cloud that could remind him of her. Of her hair, her face… Her smile… It was so difficult. Shikamaru groaned.

"Who is it? Jiraiya-sama?"

"No… It's someone who's still alive… And yet, so very far…" He stretched his arm towards the sky, with his hand opened, effectively blocking his sight of the sky for a few seconds, feeling the sudden gust of strong wind graze his skin gently… Like her hands. He sighed some more and clenched his hand into a fist and lowered it… Just to find the sky free no more. He blinked. "What…"

"What the hell is that thing?" Shikamaru and Naruto had the same reaction when they saw something made of metal and wood fly over them. And it was something BIG. Very big.

**"Ehm… Is this thing on? Hey! Can you hear me, down there?!" "Cid, I don't think we could hear them even if they replied…" "Ah, right… White mages, cast Sight!" "Hmmm… This person is right… Right below us? I guess we're… RYDIA?! WHAT THE HELL?! ROSA!" "FLOAT!"**

"…" Before Naruto could understand what the hell was happening, he began to saw something dropping down from the sky… And then he recognized the name that had been called. "It's an Airship." Shikamaru blinked and turned to Naruto, who had suddenly recalled to memory some of the things Rydia had told him. Airships… Ships built to soar the skies. He began to run to the point where the object that had came to his attention was going to land to. It wasn't dropping as fast as he thought but… He managed to catch it nonetheless. What he didn't expect was for her to kiss him while they were still rolling down the hill.

--

"A toast to friends old and new!"

"Tsunade-baachan, you met them like, a week ago…" Naruto gulped down another cup of sake while the already drunk Tsunade grumbled.

"Man, never seen someone so grumpy at his own weeding… Rydia-chan, cheer him up for good tonight, alright?!"

"BAA-CHAN!"

"I'll do my best!"

"R-RYDIA-CHAN!"

"Edge… It has a nice sound to it. Nice name…"

"I suppose it refers to how good I am at handling sharp things… Wanna give me a try, gorgeous?"

"She got her, there."

"That's TenTen and her weapon fetish for you…"

"Urgh… Why the hell do we have to hold the ceremony on this thing?"

And thus airsickness was introduced to the ninja world and to the Akimichi family. Along with airships.

**Dark Magician Girl (Yu-Gi-Oh)**

"W-Who cares about that? I'm going to become a ninja!"

"No toys Naruto! Hahahaha!" The blonde whisker faced boy grumbled something inaudible under his breath. Even if he was soon going to become a ninja, he was still a ten years old boy. And that meant being subject to peer pressure and the wants of children of that again. The latest 'pressurization' was about the fact that he didn't own a single toy. Or better, not a single one of the ones that were the trend with the children. The latest one was a TCG, translated as trading card game. Naruto didn't really have an interest in the game. He didn't even like it that much, since it involved math, but… He hated how they mocked him. They had done it ever since he was younger, but… This time it was about something that everyone had. Heck, he could bet he had even seen ANBU carrying around a deck of cards. He grumbled and kept on walking down the road to the academy.

All this was being observed by the third Hokage in his office thanks to his magical crystal ball. I know it sounds gay, but that's the name of the thing. The old man sighed. It seems that even the infamous Naruto was subject to the childish want for toys… And he had to admit that that game was fun, he thought, while he zeroed his opponent's life points with an attack of his most powerful monster. "You lose, Kazekage-dono."

"B-BUT HOW… Darn it." The leader of the Hidden Sand grumbled under his breath his newest defeat, while the Hokage chuckled… And then it suddenly came to him. He could give Naruto that old deck. The Sandaime had been quite surprised when he had found it in his office, all covered in dust safely contained in that golden box. He had heard that the game had some years and that just now it was being revamped… But that box looked centuries old. Well, the cards were new, though, so the man just dismissed it as being the result of an over-caring owner.

--

"Stupid, stupid, stupid peers and their stupid… Hn?" Naruto was going back home after the academy, where he was surprised to see that even in his classroom, a lot of people now possessed a deck of cards. Sasuke included. Heck, even Shikamaru now possessed a deck. So that only lead to desperately want one for himself. When he came back home he noticed something in front of his door. A little package with a letter. He picked everything from the floor and entered his apartment. He opened the letter first while getting out of his shoes.

_Dear Naruto_

_I noticed you expressed some interest in the newest trend in the elemental countries as well, regarding this Duel Monster game. I must say, I expected that. I'm a player myself, actually._

Naruto grumbled under his breath. Even the old man had a deck…

_So, I sent you a little gift. It's my old deck…_

Naruto threw away the letter as soon as he finished reading that last sentence, and started to ravish the package. He found a golden box inside it along with the beginner's guide to the game. He carefully set aside the guide since he would need to read it later, and then opened the box.

"Wooooow…" There were real cards inside of the deck. Naruto squirmed like a girl while he started going through them… He started noticing that they were a bit different from the ones his friends had. These ones looked older, and… It seemed like even the material they were made of was different. Instead of plastic they looked like some kind of hard paper… But they were completely new. Not a scratch, a bended angle… Nothing. "Wow… They must be special or jii-san must have taken good care of them… Well, probably both. I better not ruin this deck. Thanks, jii-san… Uh?" While going through the cards, he noticed one that caught his attention immediately. It wasn't really powerful or anything, but… He just felt like, lured to it. It was the… "Dark Magician Girl?" Naruto observed the card and the figure closely and with precision. It was like… Magnetic. He frowned when he felt a tap on his left shoulder.

"Not now. I'm reading the description." Another tap. "Not now. Just wait a…" Another tap yet again. He grumbled. "Hey, would you care to… …" He froze on the spot. First because he realized he should have been alone in his house. Second because of the person who was suddenly with him in his house. It wasn't much the fact that she was incredibly cute with the way she smiled and waved at him with a hand or her outfit, or the fact that she was floating. It was the fact that she looked exactly like the card he was holding. "… Dark… Magician Girl?" She just nodded, smiling with her eyes closed, emitting a soft chuckle.

"…" Good thing his neighbours had forced him to isolate his apartment ages ago. They had even paid themselves for it.

--

"Alright, so… You're like… Alive, right? You're a card… With a spirit?" She nodded, floating around in his apartment looking around. She hadn't managed to do it that much since he was running around screaming in circles just a few minutes before. Good thing he suddenly tripped and calmed down. "Are there other cards like that?" She suddenly floated back to him and started to write something on the floor with her staff. Well, she mimicked writing… "… All… Cards… But… Special… All cards have spirits but just special ones can show themselves on their own?" She nodded eagerly. He scratched the back of his head. That was a first. "Man, this is so strange… How many other cards are there like you, then?"

The girl frowned and started counting with her fingers… Till she lost count and pouted. Naruto sweatdropped.

"I can't understand if it's because they're many or you're just unable to count." She blushed and turned her head around, huffing cutely. Naruto sighed. "Aaaalright… I guess it's better if we talk about other things, hn? Like…" He picked up the guide. "Wanna help me learn how to play?"

The girl suddenly was back to being cheerful, and she almost jumped on the spot out of joy. Naruto scratched the back of his head. What a straaaaaaaaaange day…

--

"Alright, Naruto. Start talking. Now."

"Aww, come on, ojii-san. It's no big deal, and I've already told you. I just wanted to try to add a couple of dragons to my deck…"

"NARUTO, YOUR 'CARDS' SUDDENLY BECAME ALIVE! YOU BURNED HALF OF THE ROOM!" The Sandaime hardly lost its calm, but that was something else. It was not a prank. It was something serious that to Naruto seemed awfully normal. A week had passed since Sarutobi had given the blonde kid his latest gift, and Naruto had learned to play the game, it seemed, since he immediately challenged one of his classmates. The only problem was that the moment he 'summoned' a monster into play, it came alive. And even worse, even the opponent's cards got subjected to the same process. The 'battle' that ensued ended in the victory for Naruto's dragon monster, half of the room burned alive, and the boy suddenly feeling a sting of pain because of the sudden loss of 'Life Points'.

"I didn't expect them to do so… But, come on! It's so cool! I bet that I could use it as a jutsu as well!" Sarutobi groaned.

"Naruto… What I want to know is how the fact suddenly came to be. But I can see you're completely oblivious…" Naruto had a suspect, actually. But it was kinda private. Especially because it involved one of his cards… Who had become also his best friend. "I can only suppose that there's more to this game than what meets the eye… But it is something frightening. Summoning without using chakra…"

"So?! It IS cool!" Sarutobi sighed again.

"Naruto, from what I can tell, the summoning only takes place if you're in the middle of a duel. And I don't think every ninja in the world will start equipping themselves with Duel Monsters decks just to accept challenges from you…"

--

"I challenge you, Uzumaki Naruto!"

"Ojii-san was right. They're the ones challenging me." No, seriously. The last serious ninjas he had met were Haku and Zabuza. At least they had tried to fight him the old fashioned way. But it seems that in a few months, something had happened in the ninja world. First, there were lots of people knowing his name, in that chunin exam. Second, those same people kept on challenging him in Duel Monsters. "Alright, alright, but can we make this quick? I think my team-mates are getting tired of this. It's the seventh time ever since the beginning of the second exam."

"This will be your downfall!" As usual, the ninja got out his deck and had a strange device attacked to his left arm. Nice card holder. He had picked one from the first ninja he had defeated. As usual, when the game started the ghost of the DMG appeared beside him, visible only to him.

"Hmmm… Seems like a bug user." Said Naruto, as the opponent summoned his first monster. The girl giggled by his side. Even if she couldn't talk fluently, Naruto had come to understand what she meant by each intonation of her various noises. It seemed almost empathic… And maybe it was. "I know, I know… You're happy because she's not a girl and I can't play strip Duel Monsters again…" She nodded, chirping a little. Naruto rolled his eyes. "Jeez, I don't understand what's the big deal… It almost sounds as if you're jealous…" 'Hm!', he heard. Naruto blinked and turned around. The blonde mage monster repeated the noise and nodded with her head fiercely, still smiling. Naruto blinked. "You are? … Alright, that's weird."

--

"You… You won…"

"Big surprise… Nice Fiend-type deck, though. Keep it up." Naruto put back the deck in its custody, while the once again invisible DMG cheered for him. In the meanwhile, Sasuke was grumbling, with Sakura trying to cheer him up. It wasn't enough that other people had come to challenge Naruto in duel, noooo… To make matters worse, this time they were three people. And even worse, that Kabuto guy had a deck too and had helped Naruto in the duel. "Try adding a couple of Field cards. For fiends it's Yami, but since they're also Dark you can use Mystic Plasma Zone too…"

"But no matter… You will never escape… One day… They will take her away…" At that, Naruto's eyes shot wide open. He suddenly turned around and grabbed the de-life pointed ninja by the front of his clothes, hard.

"Alright, start talking. How do you know about her?! And why did you want to take her?!"

"SEE?! NOW HE HAS SECRET PLOTTINGS AGAINST HIM AS WELL! I WAS THE ONLY ONE, BEFORE!"

"S-Sasuke-kun, you're overreacting…"

"Did you believe it was a coincidence… That suddenly, every foreign ninja… Knew your name… And challenged you? There was a reason, of course…" The rain ninja grinned. "Someone started… Giving information to other villages… About you… And they put up… A reward for whoever managed… To get your card…"

"A… Reward?"

"Well… Not only, on your one, to tell the truth…" Naruto blinked at that. "There's… Someone else, in this exam… Who possesses a card… Like yours… But… He's unbeatable… He will probably be… The next one… To come for you…"

"… What's his name?"

"Sabaku no Gaara…"

--

"Jeez… I'm so sore…" He had just went back home after that intense day. Fighting old style with Kiba, the hot springs incident and meeting with Jiraiya, and then going back home. He got rid of his clothes and threw himself under the shower, all the while DMG followed him. Even under the shower. He had gotten used to it by that moment. "But I still… Can't understand what they would want with you…" The girl just shrugged. She didn't know either, it seemed. Naruto brushed his hair with water mixed with shampoo. "But… I'm really worried, you know? If I think that people will keep on coming after you…" He suddenly stiffened when he felt her embracing him from behind and pecking him on the left cheek. He blushed at the sudden softness on his back. "Is this a way of telling me you trust me?" She nodded and kissed him again on the other cheek, giggling. He chuckled… "Nice…" Then, he blinked. "Wait a minute! SINCE WHEN CAN YOU TOUCH THINGS WHILE NOT BEING IN A DUEL?!"

--

"You are… Strong…"

"You've proven yourself a worthy opponent… But in the end… I will not disappear…" Those guys were right. This Sabaku no Gaara was strong. His beast-type deck was well done and he used them incredibly well. And his soul card was frightening. Bazoo the Soul Eater. And that was the card that had sent most of his strongest monsters to the graveyard. They both had 100 life points left… And he just had Kuribo and Berfomet on his field. No useful magic cards or traps left on the field. And they were fighting on top of an enormous sand badger who was slowly heading for Konoha, getting closer and closer with each life point Naruto lost.

"… It's not… Over yet… My turn." Naruto slowly drew his card.

"It's all useless… My Bazoo currently has 2200 attack points. None of your monsters can match his power… Good job with destroying my field, though."

"Because… I needed it…" He turned around to DMG, looking at her with tiredness in his eyes. She just nodded, determination on her face. He turned to Gaara again… And he smiled. _Good girl… You're here when I need you…_ "I sacrifice Kuribo… And Berfomet… To summon… Dark Magician Girl!" In a flash of light, the two monsters disappeared from the field, leaving space to the extremely cute mage card.

"… It's useless. Her attack power is higher, but not high enough…"

"Normally… Yes. But, there's something else to her… Because you have destroyed Dark Magician." Gaara blinked, glaring a little… Then his eyes widened when he saw the monster's attack go from 2000 to 2300. Exactly… 100 more than his Bazoo! But what…

"What…"

"For each Dark Magician or Chaos Dark Magician in either player's cimitery…" Naruto stretched his hand. "My Dark Magician Girl gets 300 more attack points."

"… No…"

"Dark Magician Girl… Attack!"

"NOOOOOOO!" It would take days to remove all the sand, but at least, Konoha was safe.

--

"Maaan… I'm not used to be in hospitals…" DMG grumbled a little angry. Naruto sighed from his laying position. "I know, I know… I should just be happy that a fall from that height didn't kill me…" He crossed his arms behind his head. "But it's really boring, you kn…" Naruto got silenced by the sudden feeling of a pair of soft lips on his own. He immediately recognized the 'attacker' because he had his eyes open. He blushed like mad while DMG chuckled. "…" He blushed and lowered his head, in defeat. "You really know how to shut me up, hn?"

"Yes." Naruto's blush disappeared in surprise. She had… She had just talked?! He had recognized her voice because of the tone, but… It was the first time she… He scratched the top of his head.

"Alright, let's think things through… The first time I've met you, you were incorporeal…" She nodded. "But as time passed, you've been becoming more and more solid… And now you have even started talking… Mmmmh…" He massaged his forehead while she nodded one more time with a chirping voice. "Don't tell me… The more duels I win the more real you become?"

"Yes." She said again. Naruto rolled his eyes, sighing heavily…

"Still, I wonder what's with you and the other cards, like Gaara's one…" Naruto crossed his arms over his chest. "I mean, what's with your special properties? And why would people want to collect them? Not that I will ever let them, of course…"

--

"Uzumaki Naruto, you're coming with us."

"…" Ever had those kind of meetings? When you meet a person for the first time and you are instantaneously overwhelmed by a single feeling? Be it disgust, or respect… Or fear. That was the case of the guy who reminded Naruto of Sasuke a lot. "Who… Who are you? What do you want with me?"

"… Nothing much, Naruto." Itachi Uchiha brought his right hand inside his left sleeve. Naruto immediately dropped in a battle stance, a little nervous… And he blinked when the man brought out his hand again, holding… A deck. "Just a little match with you. Nothing else…"

"… You've come for her…" Naruto gritted his teeth, and swallowed silently… Because he had this overwhelming feeling, this idea… He felt that, if he dueled with that man in that moment, he would lose. He was sure of it without even knowing him… He had that feeling.

"Hmmm… Itachi-san, it would be troublesome if he could be able to run away. It would be wise to cut off one leg." Said the blue-skinned man who accompanied him. Naruto's eyes widened.

"Itachi Uchiha…"

"Long time no see, Sasuke." Naruto's eyes widened even more. What the hell was Sasuke doing, there… And why was he holding a deck instead of a Kunai, in his left hand? He was kinda expecting him to have a Chidori around his whole left arm, if this man was really his older brother…

--

"Sasuke… Why are you doing this?" Naruto couldn't believe what he was seeing in front of him. His surrogate brother, his rival, his friend… Standing in front of him, mocking his comrades who risked their lives to take him back, and who was permeating with evil… He was emitting an energy similar to Orochimaru's one… And he could feel that the source of it was… The deck he was holding in his right hand. "… Is that…"

"Sakura told you, I see… Kukukuku…" Sasuke held the bunch of cards in front of himself, showing the last card to Naruto. "This is the deck that Orochimaru gave me in the Forest of Death… Along with the cursed seal, which main's purpose is to help me resonate with these special cards, and to bring them to life…"

"…" Naruto narrowed his eyes. It felt just like…

"It's just like how your special card work, right, Naruto?" The blonde's eyes widened. What… Sasuke just laughed darkly yet again. "That's right. My deck is a result of an experiment to duplicate cards like yours… To replicate their power." Naruto gripped his fists tightly, in confusion and anger. Sasuke just shook his head. "You still don't know anything, right, Naruto? You hold that much power… And you don't even know it's real purpose, do you? Fortunately, Orochimaru's bodyguards have been very eloquent… Ask yourself this. These cards… How did they come to life? For what purpose?"

At Naruto's clueless' face his laughter boomed and became even more louder. "But the time for talking is over, Naruto! Let's duel!" Sasuke suddenly held out a card-holding device like Naruto's own one. Naruto bit his lower lip.

"It really seems like talking will take us nowhere, Sasuke…" He suddenly raised his head. "Fine! I will then beat you up and drag you back to Konoha unconscious, if I have to!"

--

"Hmmm… So, we're going away for three years… I think I'll miss this place a lot…" Said Naruto while putting the last needed things in his backpack. DMG handed him another cup of Ichiraku pre-cooked ramen.

"You're sad?" Asked the blonde haired spirit, holding a finger to her mouth, a little worried. Naruto sighed and put a hand on her head, caressing her.

"A bit… But, hey. I will get a lot stronger…" He then gently pulled him to her and kissed her on the right cheek, making her giggle and blush. "And I will even learn to use your power better. I can't believe about what the pervert told me…" He kissed her one more time and let go, returning his full attention to his backpack. "Basically, once I learn to harness your full power, I will be able to create my own cards… That sounds so cool! And here I thought I would have had to wait till someone copyrighted the game… And when I get strong enough…" He turned his head around to look at her with his biggest grin on his face. "I will be able to make you completely real forever and ever."

"…" She smiled and suddenly Naruto found himself suffocating between two fleshy pillows, blushing profusely.

"Meh, D… I'm still 13. At least, wait until I hit puberty…"


	10. Notice

**Notice**

Just so you know, I've just published a sister story to this one, called 'Naruto is dating who: The Bachelor Chapters'. The format is the same as this story, but it includes girls from Naruto only. Just check my profile to see it. Hope you like it as much as this one.

Meinos Kaen


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